Are You an Eight Cow Wife?

I've been thinking about this lately.

Most of you know the story of Johnny Lingo...how he paid 8 cows for his bride, when 2-3 was good, 4-5 was for a super wife, and most of the tribe found his bride plain and not worth even the 2 or 3 cows that was more typical. They laughed at him, and thought he was crazy to give that much for her...but ultimately the laugh was on them when he brought her back a few months later to visit the village and she was breathtakingly beautiful. A wife any one of them would have been proud to have, and they all changed their tunes and realized Johnny must really be some kind of genius.

When asked about it later he said that the reason why he paid 8 cows for her was because he loved her. But more than that, he wanted an eight cow wife. How we treat others--how we let them see how much we appreciate or love them--seriously affects their treatment or reaction to us, or to those around them.

Here are some questions I've been knocking around:

Are you an eight cow wife/husband/human? For ease of writing, I'll stick to having this be about married couples...go ahead and adjust it to your own situation since it is relevant to many different relationships.

What does it take to be an eight cow wife? (And don't say a husband who actually HAS 8 cows to begin with...work with me here).

What does it take to become an eight cow wife if you aren't there yet?

Why would you even want to BE an eight cow wife?

Only you can answer that first question, so go ahead and think about it. But in order to assess that, you have to know more about what an eight cow wife is. This is probably personal to each of you too, so in MY opinion, an eight cow wife is someone who is secure in her relationship with her spouse. She knows he loves her and cherishes her. Knows that her opinion matters to him and that he will stand by her through adversity, sickness, health, richer--poorer--you get the idea there.

Do you see that in your relationship? Hold that thought for later...

The 2nd question is personal too. But there are probably some basics that can put all of us on the path to bovine bounty. Think about these questions for this subject:
How are you treating your spouse? Can you expect him to be thrilled to see you when he comes home from work if the minute he walks in you are scowling and complaining? Do you stay positive and supportive? Do you tell him that you appreciate him? Love him? Do you take time for any type of affection? Even if it is holding hands in the car, or sneaking a kiss in the kitchen? Do you really listen to your spouse?

Honestly, how responsive would you be if you came home to Queen-of-the-Porcupines and then were expected to be loving and kind towards her? I'd be avoiding that area of the house until the flames coming out the ears were only steam blasts...but I am not sure I'd want to test it very often to see if the fire was out yet.. Scathing remarks, simply a bad attitude, expecting perfection...those are all things that would make the cow count go down. And that is not what we are looking for here.

The 3rd question ties into that one. What do you do to become an eight cow wife if you aren't there yet?

Well, don't hate me, but you know those silly e-mails you get that tell you how women in the '50's were taught to be wives and mothers? You know the one--the one that says you should freshen up before your husband comes home, have dinner on the table, don't talk about your awful day because he has had a hard day too, clean up the kids so they look nice for him--remember that one? I know people mock that, but there are some truths there. Even if you live in a two-income family.

I'm not saying you have to go June Cleaver on me here. What I am saying is that if we put more effort into looking nice for each other, speaking kindly to one another, trying not to complain about every little thing that has happened to you that day, listening to each other, trying to keep the house picked up a bit so that your atmosphere isn't sucking the life out of any good mood that is trying to exist (and if you know me, you'll know that that last one isn't easy for me even a little...I'm not the world's best housekeeper, but the feeling in our house is calmer when I've taken the time to straighten up a little...granted, I have to do that late at night when the kids are in bed so that I don't completely lose it when the littles destroy my efforts in 5 seconds...), if we try to do all that, then I know our spouses will respond positively. And when they are happy and positive they are more free with their praises and compliments which in turn makes us feel more happy and positive--we begin to feel wanted and loved and that, my friends, increases our cow potential.

4th--again, this can only be answered by you--do you want to BE an 8 cow wife? If you say no, then I sincerely hope it is because you are shooting for a ten cow wife.

Why wouldn't you want to be an eight cow wife? It won't matter how you look, how you talk, how you cook, how you merge onto the freeway during rush hour. Your spouse will love you and cherish you. And all because you have shown love and caring towards him. Funny thing that. You can become an eight--or nine--or ten--cow wife, simply by letting your husband know he is important to you. By showing consideration, love, gratitude...it makes him an eight cow husband and he won't even know it. He will simply return the favor in kind, because it is seriously hard to belittle, dislike, or ignore someone who genuinely cares for you.

So go back to that first question...the part I told you to hold for later...well, it is later and I hope that one makes more sense to you now. I hope you see things in your relationship that lead toward the eight cow scenario instead of the corner butcher shop.

The good news is that if you are in a two cow relationship, you have the ability to turn it into a whole herd of fun by being a good person. By treating your spouse in exactly the same way you hope to be treated.

So here is to all you eight cow people--and you potential eight cow people.

May you bless those around you with good humor, positive attitude, and kitchen kisses.