Friday, June 13, 2008

The Jinx of the 'Know-It-All' Parent

You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

The jinx where, when you are young and have no children you are quick to judge a person's parenting ability--"When I have kids, MY child will NEVER behave like that", or "Did you see what they are feeding their kid?? Don't they care at all about health and nutrition?".

And then, suddenly you find yourself married with children. Sitting in a church pew trying to look nonchalant as your out-of-control (or, rambunctious if you prefer...and I think I do) child is climbing over the back, making faces at the congregation behind you and throwing crayons 12 rows back--while you shove the 4th dum-dum sucker into the mouth of the crying baby and vow to never say anything bad about the parenting skills of others ever, ever again.

From that point on, you still judge. It is human nature. You just do it less vocally and hope (pray) that the jinx won't come back to haunt you.

Why? Because now that you are a young mother you focus your attention to parents with teenagers. In your mind you see the boy who refuses to go to scout camps or youth conferences and you wonder why the parent won't insist--because you know that those activities will undoubtedly have experiences that will strengthen the testimony of that boy. Or you see the parent who is thrilled that their fifteen year old daughter has a boyfriend, and you vow--in your head as you look frantically around for wood to knock--that YOUR daughter will not be serious with a boy until she is 25. And if by some jinxed reason she does fall madly in love at 17 and thinks she is old enough to be married, you swear you will be more likely to lock her in her room until said age of 25 instead of welcoming the idea with a genuine smile.

I watch happenings around me...parenting issues of people I know and those of strangers...and I get genuinely frightened of the future.

Not because I don't think my kids will make correct choices--I always give them the benefit of the doubt, and while I know mistakes will be made I am mostly confident that they will prevail--But because I have thought the opposite and am terrified that I have just jinxed them all to a life of horrible mistakes that will come back to haunt me.

And because I will probably end up giving younger mothers a whole truckload of something to jinx their own children with. :)

1 comment:

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Ooh - you just hit my biggest weakness right on the head of the nail. I try soo hard not to be judgmental - I really, really do. And every day, I look back over the day and cringe. Then I pray that I can try a little harder the next day.