Moving Siblings

I am the oldest of six kids. All of us were fairly close--there is a span of only 7 years between me and my youngest sister--and we all basically ended up married and living in the same general valley where we grew up.


Before marrying, four of us went away to college--our first living away from home scenario.

Those same four also served missions for our church, so we had the opportunity to get out of our valley and taste a bit of independence before we found our respective spouses and married.


When my 2nd sister moved out of State with her husband for her work, I was happy for her because she was one who stayed in the valley for college and didn't serve a mission. So I knew that even though she has always been the more mature sister--even 3 years younger than me--I knew that getting away from the valley with her husband would be a good move for them. It would help her grow and learn things you can only learn when you leave the comfort of your extended family and have to rely more on yourself and your spouse to make things work.


She has since moved back to our State and lives about 15 minutes away from our mom and dad.


Same thing happened when the sister who is 19 months younger than I am moved to the other end of the State...far enough away to learn those same things--she moved to the town where the other four of us went to college, so I was also a bit jealous of that move. I love it where she moved. Now she lives in a different State even further away than before, and because of the type of work her husband does, I don't see her moving back to this State. Which is a bummer if truth be told. It's weird, because even if she lived in the same town I do it wouldn't guarantee I'd see her more often. I'd like to think I would, but life gets crazy. I think it would only make me feel better because I would know that we COULD see each other if we wanted. I could sign her up and make her play soccer with me so I'm not the only old fart playing co-ed soccer...:)


One of my youngest sisters moved out of State a couple of years ago and that was weird because even though she is 7 years younger than me--which actually makes her a bonafide adult to the rest of the world--I still think of her and her twin sister as 14, so for her to be married and the mom of four kids is shocking enough without adding in the bonus of her actually having the nerve to move 6 hours away.


And now as of a couple of weeks ago, my dearest onliest brother has taken his cute family and moved not only out of State, but across the country. He is proof that if a sibling lives in your same town it doesn't guarantee you'll ever really see them...they had been living not even 5 minutes from me and we really only saw each other when passing on info. etc. from our parents. Which is sad, really.


And the saddest part is that it shows that cliches are cliches for a reason--no one would say "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" unless millions of us do exactly that.


So now my brother and two of my sisters live out of State. And while I'm happy for them since the moves seem to be the best for them, I'm bummed for myself. (Since it is really all about me ;) )


Taking advantage of having family around is something I apparently haven't learned--even after going away to college and serving a mission. Taking people you love for granted isn't a very nice thing for me to do. I do the same thing with friends...so my family doesn't need to feel that kind of special. I'm lame on all sorts of levels.

I don't really think about siblings being out of reach until we have family gatherings or events and I catch myself looking around my mom's house wondering where so-and-so are and then realizing that they actually won't be there.

They will miss out on Mom's early Thanksgiving dinner of roast, having all the cousins getting to know each other, catching up on the mountains of meaningless gossip and sometimes inappropriate topics of conversation (I'll save that explanation for a different blog--something to look forward to :) )...

And we (I) will miss out on seeing their kids grow, having them have any idea who we really are...my kids will hear about a cousin of theirs and ask "Who is that?". Granted, with mom having 28 grandkids, my kids might say that anyway...but still. I'm trying to make a point here. We will miss out on their special occasions, and they will probably not actually miss the meaningless gossip and inappropriate conversations.

I'm going to have to actually put myself out and be a normal human being who remembers birthdays and sends Christmas cards in order to stay connected to my siblings. It will probably be good for me. Make me grow and progress into becoming someone decent.

So thanks for moving and making me be a better person. (Because remember--it really IS all about me...)

But if you don't mind, I'll keep on missing you guys anyway.

And that has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with what great people you guys are.

I love you.

(Even Brian ) :)