Tuesday, November 18, 2008

As Long As We're Dreaming...

I think I have mentioned before about how one of my mom's favorite past times is to imagine herself winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, and then proceed to figure out to the penny how she would spend the 10 million dollars...

If I have mentioned it, I might be repeating myself here...but this is where my rambling thoughts are taking me today, so if you read on it is your own fault. :)

My mom figures out how much money she will give to each of her kids. And then proceeds to worry about 'ruining' us with the gift and imagines us all (or most of us) blowing through the money in record time with nothing to show for it except maybe some photos of exotic vacations and a mortgage on a house we would no longer be able to afford. Of course, I'm sure she figures all the breadwinners in the family will have quit their jobs when given a cool million or two, so she will be worried that once we have no more funds we won't be easily employed.

Which is where the REAL nightmare starts, and she pictures all six of her kids, their respective spouses, and all 27 (?) grandkids move into her house with her and dad. Which means she goes back to her original 'How would I spend the money' thought and revises her dream home to include a lot more bedrooms and bathrooms to fit all of us.

Or she decides to not give us any money at all so that she avoids the whole ruining part of her dream. Which is nice.

What started out as a pleasant 'What if' dream, turns into an ulcer causing headache that just makes my mom glad she won't have the problem of making those decisions. Even though deep down (or maybe not so deep down) she would welcome the opportunity of finding out how it would really all work out.

Her talking about this usually makes me think about what I would do in that situation...what if I suddenly came into millions of dollars? What would I do? I mean besides be annoyed at suddenly finding myself popular--or suddenly meeting relatives I never knew existed, or getting phone calls not from bill collectors (they would be genuinely happy for me for a change ;) ), but from people expecting me to suddenly want to donate money to every cause known (and unknown) to man.

The 'what would you do with X amount of money' daydream is a fairly common one. It is one that helps me keep my husband awake on long driving trips--although now that we are older our answers are not as frivolous and are pretty boring, actually...education funds, wedding funds--with 5 daughters that is a worry for him--mission funds, retirement...My husband usually throws in a car just for kicks, but it isn't anything exciting like a Lotus Elise, but he wants a Mercedes diesel sedan that he gets with no mileage on it so he can keep it forever and drive it to a million miles...

So we have upped the daydream. Beyond money, we take it personal.

What would you imagine you being like if you could picture a perfect life? What would you change in your motivations and goals and life situation?

This discussion usually touches on money...I think most people assume that having money is a better option than not having money. So you wouldn't hear us say "Well, for one thing, we'd be dirt poor and living paycheck to paycheck". Sorry. Been there, done that. :)

Usually we just say that we have enough money for our needs, plus extra for saving and having the freedom to be able to do what we want without worry. Then we move on to other things...

Oh, and one big rule with this discussion--Never suggest what the other person could change to be better. Never, ever, ever. Not unless you want the silent treatment for the next three days.

We talk about physical changes. Like, I would--without the pain of surgery or dieting--be back to my pre-kids weight, but actually have a chest that needs no help from 'miracle' bras. (Can I say that outloud?)

We talk about personality changes. I would probably hope to be more outspoken and quicker to help others. I know my husband would rather I show more emotion--he actually complains that I am too even tempered. Ha. He has no idea how good he has it--until he sees one of his friend's wives throw a complete tantrum over something ridiculous, and then he is forever grateful and thanks me for not being a 'typical' female. Which I am sure I should be offended about that crack, but that would take actual energy... :)

We talk about spiritual changes. I would love to be a scriptorian. I, however, have a memory like a seive. Maybe in my next life....
Until then, we always discuss how we should read and study more, pray more sincerely. Etc. Things we really have the power to do and change, but as you'll see in the next category I am just not that good of a person yet.

We talk about habits--ones we need to gain, and ones we need to lose. I am stuck in the "ignorance is bliss" mode of life. I am fabulously skilled at ignoring the things I should be doing. I'm not proud of that fact. Usually. But I am good at it. If I could change habits--adding or subtracting them with the snap of my fingers--I would probably be a better time-manager. I seem to waste more time than I should. And I would be organized and "together". Although I would probably need a solid definition on "together" in order to really grasp that one.

We talk about professional choices. This can be hard if your spouse or you had a different vision of what his or her life would be like at this point. Annoyingly depressing, actually. So don't forget to keep a lighthearted backup plan ready to fire off if you see the eyes glaze over. For example when my husband starts off with "I always planned on being a doctor. It is what I studied for. It is what I went to school for. It is what I had as a goal since I was eight years old." It would be a good idea to throw out something like, "My high school career center test told me I should be a migrant tree farmer, but I think if I really applied myself it would be fun to be a rodeo clown." Just the shock factor if you can say that and keep a straight face, should be enough to pull the dramatics back about fifty notches and get him over the melodramatic hump.

I'll add a warning to this discussion, should you choose to bring it up with your spouse or a friend. Unless you keep it light, this can be a depressing topic. Not just the career part. And if you don't stick to the rule about not giving the other person suggestions for themselves to change, you will not enjoy this chat even a little. Even if you start your sentence with "We should", that is a dangerous direction to head. Because chances are you meant "You should"...not really "we" should.

So, as long as we are dreaming...what would my picture perfect life be like?

Kids who grow up as assets to society, who help others and are friends to the underdogs.
A husband who is a doctor. :) Or at least finally happy with who he really is so that it doesn't bother him anymore.
A family that enjoys spending time together and is well rounded and not caught up with the things of the world.
Good friends.
More time with extended family.
And an abundance of love to give and to receive.

Oh, and I'd look fabulous, be able to eat all the chocolate I want with no weight gain, and will have just won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes....

As long as we're dreaming. :)

3 comments:

Jamie said...

No No No..not the Publishers Sweepstakes. The lottery. and I have $130 Million after taxes and try to figure out a way to share with your kids so you don't have to pay any taxes. Then try to figure out if I give you $10 million each if that would ruin you. Not a measly $1 million.

Unknown said...

My bad. I wasn't dreaming big enough for you. :)

Jamie said...

No, I started out with that but found out it wasn't enough for my dreaming. Keep having the raise how much.