I attended my 5-year reunion with a date. Everyone after five years still seemed the same. Same groups of people hanging out and talking about the other groups, no one losing their hair yet. Most still looking young and fit. It was held at the high school, and honestly if they had thrown up some tacky banners and more streamers, hired a photographer whose skill lay in taking the worst photos possible with a disco-ball thrown in for good measure, it would have felt like we'd never left. It would have been a high school 'stomp', but with better refreshments.
I attended my 10-year reunion with my husband. I had gone with him the year before to his 10-year reunion and had high hopes for fun and reminiscing--his reunion was fun and I didn't know anyone there at all. Mine was still filled with some clicks that refused to go away, and someone had the bright idea of showing the video montage of our senior year in high school for the highlight of the program. Apparently it was the idea of the people who were in every single scene. Not really the all encompassing love and feel-good situation for the majority of the folks who had paid money for a lousy dinner and lame entertainment. So, after 10 years people were still a little young. Still focused on self. But there were some balding heads and protruding bellies, which thrilled me--so you can see there that I was still my shallow self. :) The good news is that they held it in a resort instead of at the high school...but it did make it hard for the materialistic people to show off the make and model of car they drove up for the occasion....
There was no 15-year reunion--thank goodness.
For my 20-year reunion life had changed. For almost everyone. Suddenly who you were or who you knew didn't matter so much. A lot of people had to look at the name tag to place the face. Some looked the same as they did in high school. The rats. :)
But we could all sit at random tables--not knowing who you were sitting next to until you checked their name tag...and even then you might still not have a clue who they were...and it didn't matter. We could talk, converse, listen. We could share high school stories that even if they weren't directly involved, they understood and appreciated. They had been there. But it didn't matter if they were 'jocks', 'stoners', 'cowboys'...etc. back then. Today they are men and women who happened to have graduated from the same high school the same year I did. They have jobs and responsibilities. Kids. Spouses. Mortgages.
The whole evening was eye opening. I thought about my own kids who at the time would be starting high school in the very near future and thought that if I could teach them anything that would help them enjoy high school more, it would be for them to grasp the concept that clicks don't matter. People matter. If you see someone who needs a friend, BE a friend. It shouldn't matter if they wear a cowboy hat or have multiple piercings. Because in 20 years, these same people will look a lot like you. The clicks will be gone. But they will remember a friend.
In my "deep" pondering I realized Dr. Seuss was a genius. (And in looking for a picture online, I found that I wasn't the only one to think of this line...confirming that I'm NOT all that deep and philosophical...) I'm talking about his story about the Sneetches--you know the one. Star-bellied sneetches and those without "stars on thars"...They all thought having a star on their belly made them better than those without. Until the Mr. McBean and his machine came along and put stars on the bellies of those who didn't have them before, which made the star-bellied sneetches upset so they had theirs removed--and the cycle continued until no one could remember who had a star and who didn't. (Well, and they ran out of money...so they couldn't continue the insanity :) )
But they realized that star or no star, they were really a lot alike. They could accept each other as is. Star. No star.
It is like high school. The goths aren't bad people. The nerds are worth getting to know for more than homework help. The jocks can actually carry a conversation with real words and not just grunts and sports plays. The "in" crowd has down moments just like every other kid on the planet. In other words, star or no star, we all have thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. And we all need a friendly face and someone who will accept us for who we are.
Because 20 years from now the 'stars' won't matter.
If I could teach that to my kids now, it wouldn't take 20 years for them to figure that out. I can't imagine that being a bad thing.
2 comments:
I tend to agree. My only regret from HS is that I didn't make more friends.
My 20 year is this year. A lot of us have joined Facebook recently and are reconnecting. It's pretty wierd. I ran away to Utah so I could start over and get away from all of it but in this age of the internet you can't hide too long!
AMEN!!!
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