It has been awhile since I have ranted. Mainly because it has been awhile since I have posted. :)
But today I must rant.
Today was the end of my 60 days of doing Insanity workouts. Yay for me for actually doing it. Right? At this point that is my only consolation. I completed 60 days of the workouts.
My problem/rant is this...and I really wish it could be someone else's fault instead of my own. I much prefer placing blame elsewhere...
From the day I started this workout until today I lost a whopping 2 pounds.
2. Two. Not a nice large number like 20. Or 40.
Nope. Just two.
Now. That said, I did also keep track of my measurements. And in that same span of time, I lost a total of 18 1/2 inches over my body. So that is something.
But seriously? Two lousy pounds?
It is not an easy workout. Most days I argued with myself about actually taking the time to do it. But I always won (or lost--depending on your mindset) the argument and did the workout anyway.
Apparently in a huge effort to shed two pounds.
My 'before' photos look suspiciously like my 'after' photos.
So I sit back and reflect and try to figure out where I went wrong with this. I look at the website for Insanity and note that other people have had this same complaint. That makes me feel marginally better to know that I am not some strange anomaly where the universe mocks my attempts and only allows two pounds to slip off just to keep me guessing.
And I keep trying to talk myself into thinking that if fat is coming off, but I am replacing it with muscle...well, you can't lose weight if you are replacing and not just removing, right?
(That one is my favorite argument..)
I just wish my before and afters looked more different. If they did, I would post them here. Since they don't, you can just track me down and I will pose for you in person and you will see the before and after.
My husband says he can tell that the effort has been worth it. Of course, this is the guy who instead of stopping with that part of the sentence added "because, seriously, before you started working out? You were scaring me."
So I have that going for me too. Geez.
So tomorrow begins round 2 of Insanity for me.
It is 60 days of working out. Which really means that instead of their 6 days per week, I manage 5 days per week (Saturdays are notoriously too full up with family things for me to work out). And I always try to get over to the Rec Center to take some TRX classes once or twice each week on top of those Insanity workouts. And this go around I am also playing in a Monday night co-ed indoor soccer league.
From all of that, it sounds perfectly reasonable to assume one would lose weight. Right?
Here comes my honesty clause...
For the life of me I can't give up chocolate. Sugar is my nemesis.
I have been eating better these last couple of months. But this time around I really, really, really (yes, three reallys) need to see the scale move lower when I stand on it. Naked. Sucking in. (Like that will make me lighter...but one can dream).
So along with Insanity, TRX, & indoor soccer, I will also be going back on my Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure diet. Low sugar and carbs. More vegetables and proteins. It isn't a crappy diet. I actually like it and it really does work. But because of my chocolate addiction, I am also going to give myself permission to have a treat once per week or I am fairly certain I will fail miserably.
The 'all or nothing' mentality is the OCD maneuver that helped my mom fail at her low-fat diet. And I can feel the same tendencies in me. If I can allow myself to have one fun-sized Snickers and not feel guilty about it, then I won't just give up completely and inhale the entire bag. And it will keep me happy and sane.
My mom said that she decided she would "rather be happy than thin". This after she had lost A LOT of weight. She had put in the effort to lose weight and then-- seemingly in one moment--she decided it wasn't worth it. And she went back to eating whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and as much as she wanted. And she gained most, if not all of the weight back. I think she probably is happier eating what she wants without worrying about it making her heavier. And she has also been blessed with being healthy, so the added weight hasn't been an issue with her health.
What it really comes down to though is that I really am going to have to admit one of these days that I am getting old.
I still feel like I am 20-something on the inside. And so I think people should see me and think that I look that young on the outside. But inevitably someone will show me a photo of myself, or I will walk past a mirror, and my illusion is shattered.I still think that I can eat like I did in my 20's and not have weight stick to me like it is too scared to let go. I either need to get a grip on my weight and fitness, or I need to hire 'people'. Movie stars have 'people', so you see the women my age and they look great. But us mere mortals don't have a team of 'people' to make us up, or to photoshop our pictures. We are stuck with reality. Bummer.
Getting old just isn't as fun as one would hope it would be. Stinkin' lousy metabolism thinks it should slow down. I find that a bit rude. We already have to get gray hairs and wrinkles. You would think one round of Insanity would be enough to kickstart the weight loss again. But no. I am not that lucky. I get to go for round 2. And I refuse to consider that after two rounds I will still be at the two pound weight loss.
By my calculations, I should be done with Insanity by the first week in August going off the 5 x per week workout instead of 6. Which means that a couple of weeks after that Kady will be coming home from her mission. Which is when I should fit into my clothes I have hanging on my closet door as motivation.
Apparently I need to hang the clothes from my refrigerator to have the correct motivation...but I am determined this time to get it all right.
Hopefully by August I will have before and after photos that actually look different. If that is the case, I will be happy to post them here.
If it isn't the case, I will post my mailing address instead and you can all send me a bag of Snickers.
