Procrastination Pays Off

My whole life I have been a procrastinator.

That is NOT news to anyone who knows me.

From putting off homework all through school until the very last minute, to having to end up doing things myself because I put off asking someone to help out...I put things off with the best of them.

In college I remember having a major English paper due at the end of the quarter. I knew about it for a good month. A friend of mine had the same class and she very diligently studied and wrote her paper, completing it with two weeks to spare. She would ask me if I had written my paper yet and my answer was always "Um. No. I should probably start thinking about that."

The day before the paper was due, I spent 13 solid hours in the college library. I studied. I wrote. I turned my paper in the day it was due having finished the last draft about twenty minutes before class.

My friend who finished her paper two weeks early? She got a C+. Me? I got an A.

My friend was not happy with me.

I, however, was quite proud of myself. :)

Fast forward to this week.

Yesterday was Halloween. We still hadn't bought pumpkins for everyone to carve since I am the great putter-offer. So I loaded kids in the car as soon as school was out and we drove to two grocery stores--All pumpkins...Sold out. I'm thinking, "Crap, maybe I should start actually getting things early. My kids are going to kill me if I can't find a stinkin' pumpkin."

I drove over to a 'pick your own pumpkin' lot with my fingers crossed, and was thrilled to see their field still had a ton of pumpkins. The kids all picked one out (Remember I have 7 kids here...), and I went to pay asking "How much for these 7 pumpkins?"

The answer: "I'm dollaring them out today since it is Halloween. So that will be $7."

Woo hoo! :)

My procrastination saved me at least $14. If I had bought my pumpkins at WalMart at the start of last week like I considered briefly, they were selling for $3 each. Times 7 would have been $21. Plus tax.

That was huge.

I shouldn't really be proud of my procrastination bonuses, but sometimes it has paid off. And I won't be showing my kids this blog entry anytime soon since I keep hounding them about getting homework done early so they can relax and make fun of all the kids who are up late doing their projects at the last minute. I'm not thrilled with being a hypocrite on top of being a procrastinator, but that's what I'm looking at.

Someday I'll work on not putting things off. But not today. Maybe a week from next Tuesday...unless something comes up....

8 Things About Me

8 Things I am Looking Forward To:

* Relieving my kids of Halloween candy that I am sure they won't like ;)
* Christmas
* My daughter's 16th birthday in January
* Finishing my first novel
* LDS Writer's Convention 2009
* School 2009-10 (all the kids will be in school)
* Winter TV season of Monk, Psych, and Burn Notice
* Summer :)

8 Things on my Wish List

* Being debt free
* Getting back 100% on FLY-lady
* Losing 30 pounds
* My husband figuring out a job that he actually enjoys before he is old enough to retire
* 2-week vacation to DisneyWorld
* To go back and visit my mission in Portugal
* To be more smarter
* To be a better neighbor

8 TV Shows I Like to Watch

* Monk
* Psych
* Burn Notice
* Ace of Cakes
* Iron Chef
* What Not to Wear
* The Office
* Law & Order: SVU

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

* High School soccer banquet for my daughter
* Forgot to pick my 14 y.0. up from school
* Son broke the front of my kitchen drawer completely off
* Daughter broke the arm of a dining room chair
* Vacuumed the stairs (trust me, that's something :) )
* Made caramel layer brownies
* Finally hit the downswing of the nasty headcold I've had
* Returned books to the library

8 People I am Tagging

Cindy
Stacey
Aimee
Angie
Becky
Debbie
Brian & Stephanie

Seriously, I don't have 8 people I know well enough to tag who have blogs. That is so sad and pitiful.

Thanks to Danyelle for the original tag. Way to help point out my lack of social grace in blog-land :)

Ukranian Ice Bath Video

I laughed out loud at this one...which probably has something to do with my slight sadistic streak and poor habit of laughing at other's misfortunes I suppose...and though some of you have seen it, I thought I would post it here for your viewing pleasure. >:)

Trying to Get Over It

I have a problem.

I don't really see it as a huge problem, but it drives my husband crazy--and has for most of the 17 years we've been married.

And since I've had this problem for 17 years (more really), you would think that I would either get over it..or HE would.

But since that isn't happening, maybe if I purge my problems here and 'talk' it out, I might see this in a different way and be able to adjust my methods. Or I'll come up with a new argument for my husband that will let him see my madness in a better light. :)

So, here it is.

I cannot clean my house well when anyone is home.

Oh, I can straighten and vacuum with the best of them, but deep down clean? Not a chance. I hate it. (And that should be in capital letters...H-A-T-E)

I'm not fond of cleaning anyway. I don't know many who are. Although I admit I like and prefer it when everything IS clean, I just dislike everything about getting to that point.

When I was in college I would make all my roommates leave for a couple of hours so I could clean the apartment. I would turn my stereo up with a cassette tape of songs that I know all the words to so that I could sing along--usually a compilation I made myself with 80's hits (since...hello...this was back IN the 80's). I would clean, scrub, and mop. The apartment would sparkle and smell nice. My roommates would be more than happy to leave me to my madness since that would mean they wouldn't have to clean.

I think all of this is because I don't like cleaning when other people are around. I don't like it when they are watching me clean. I don't like it when they come through behind me and mess up what I just finished. I don't like it when I get interrupted in the middle of doing something to help out someone else or answer a question...

I also think I really just want 5 minutes at the end of my cleaning blitz to know that for that instant in time, my house/apartment is CLEAN. 5 min. That is all I ask.

My husband (and probably all of you reading this...) thinks I should just 'get over it'. And I should. But this is a long ingrained habit. My stomach actually tenses up at the thought of mopping the kitchen floor or cleaning a bathroom when all of my kids are home. Because I KNOW that 3.7 minutes into it, someone is going to start whining or fighting or demanding attention and I am going to lose it and get my evil-mom-scrunchy-face going.

Cleaning isn't fun anyway...but to clean with the knowledge that nothing I do is going to stay that way--my insane meter starts flashing warning signals. And if I clean too early in the day my husband will come home and wonder what I've been doing all day...sad, but true. I have to time my cleaning to coincide with when he walks in the door. That has been my compensation for him with my OCD response to cleaning with company. Clean just before he gets home and hope that at least ONE room in the house stays in some semblance of order long enough for him to appreciate the effort.

I know that if I just teach my kids to clean up better after themselves, or help out more in the actual cleaning that it would be better. But with all the patience I have in my body (which is actually quite a bit), the patience for cleaning is the shortest straw I have.

It's just me. I don't know why.

My husband refuses to take all the kids out for a couple of hours so I can clean--he is smarter and knows the importance of having the kids pitch in and help, but not smart enough to see that those 2 hours without everyone around would actually make his life better. What is that saying? "Happy wife, happy life"? I need to get that framed and stuck where he can see it daily. :)

My older kids, however are good at taking the younger ones to the park for an hour so I can get at least one room really clean. They know, as my roommates did, that getting out of the way meant them NOT having to clean. I am not raising stupid children.

Just messy ones.

And I have heard the "enjoy the time now, because one day your kids will be grown and you'll have all the time you never wanted to clean". Which is just a lovely thought (can you hear the violins in the background?), but until that time I still need to clean my house, the littles will be doing their best to keep me in business that way, and I'll still wish I could get my husband to take them out for a couple of hours so I can clean the way I need to clean.

I don't see me getting over it. I don't see my husband ever understanding it. So I guess we'll just keep going on like we are, and I will actually look forward to when all the kids are in school so I can have those couple of hours. It is just one more year. One more year of trying to keep evil-mom-scrunchy-face out of the picture. Trying to keep the house passable enough to appease my husband. Trying to teach the kids that cleaning will not kill them...I might, but cleaning won't...and trying to keep in mind that cliche or not, I really will be sad when no one interrupts me anymore. When the messes get smaller, the kids get bigger, and when I wake up and realize that what I thought was evil-mom-scrunchy-face is actually my real face and I have no more excuses.

What a mess.

Monday Rambling on Sarcasm. Great.

I've been thinking a bit about sarcasm.

The whole concept of that method of communication...the skill one needs in order to be sarcastic and not make everyone around them angry. Or sad. Or take it completely personally and have any of a dozen reactions.

To me, sarcasm is an ornery sense of humor. It is usually a bit (a lot) negative, and it is a huge mockery of any given situation.

It is also usually used in my family way too much. My kids grow up with a strong sarcasm streak. Which is actually fine in some situations, but we have found that other people's children don't 'get' sarcasm. My kids end up saying something that would make an adult chuckle, but makes a peer of theirs frown.

Comedy is a big part of our family life and we have treated our kids as real people instead of "babies", so they seem to have picked up a good grasp of adult humor (fortunately not anything risque...but anything else doesn't get past them very often). We have had comments from teachers about all of our kids and their sense of humor...i.e. a first grade teacher telling us that she would make an "inside joke" in her lessons that she was sure would go over all of her student's heads, but would look up and see one of my kids laughing. She would at that point have to be more careful with her humoring herself in class when she found out that my kids 'got' her jokes.

So my kids are funny. They just are. Just last night we had home teachers over and the man giving the lesson asked what is "Be One". My nine year old son immediately popped off with "A number in bingo".

And then he laughed and laughed. (1. I need to be quicker, because honestly when he said that it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about...and 2. I should also work on having the kids not laugh at their own jokes..they work better that way :) )

Sarcasm, however, is a whole different ball of wax. When you use sarcasm in a situation with people who appreciate a good sarcastic comment, it is great. When you use sarcasm around people who aren't good at picking up on sarcasm...or when you think you are being sarcastic but don't use the right intonations so it sounds like an insult and not a sarcastic comment--well, that can just be awkward.

My 14-year old daughter is my most sarcastic child. She has friends who appreciate it. And she has distant acquaintances who think she is rude. We need to work a bit on her delivery and timing with people like the latter...or get her to find her "off" switch so she can be a normal human with people who don't understand sarcasm or who haven't really been around it before.

I can see her sarcasm coming a mile away. If you know what to look for with her, you know to take the next phrase out of her mouth with a grain of salt. Her eyes narrow and she usually uses a slight hand gesture. And the sentence coming out usually begins with "Uh, ya...".

I've seen her make kids cry because of a sentence that started with those two words.

That usually means she failed in either the delivery or her ability to assess whether or not the person she was talking with could handle some sarcasm.

I will admit that I've never seen her use sarcasm on anyone undeserving of a little shake-up. But still. She needs to find a kind and gentle use for her sarcasm.

Good time to use sarcasm for her: Helping her sister learn how to make mac & cheese on her own...

"Uh, ya....some people probably like macaroni and cheese soup, but the rest of us read the directions on the back of the box and pay attention to the part right here that says "DRAIN"."

Bad time for her to use sarcasm: During a close soccer game after the other team scores a goal on us...to the goalie...

"Uh, ya...I think you were supposed to NOT let the ball go in the net. But maybe that's just me."

(Goalies don't have much of a sense of humor after they have to walk back and take a ball out of the net...but besides that, our goalie outweighs Kelly by 50 pounds and has a good 7 inches on her...you'd think self-preservation alone would keep her from yapping. But no).

Sarcasm is practically an art-form. You have to use the right tone with your voice, you have to try to quickly judge the situation and the people involved and hopefully be able to pull the sarcasm back if you find yourself wanting to say something but realize it would be a bad idea. It is subtle and blatant all at the same time.

Whatever that means.

Uh, ya...nice try on waxing philosophical with sarcasm. Good one. Really.

20 Year Reunions and the Sneetches

My twenty-year high school reunion was a couple of years ago. I know I try to avoid blogging about things that age me, but there you have it.

I attended my 5-year reunion with a date. Everyone after five years still seemed the same. Same groups of people hanging out and talking about the other groups, no one losing their hair yet. Most still looking young and fit. It was held at the high school, and honestly if they had thrown up some tacky banners and more streamers, hired a photographer whose skill lay in taking the worst photos possible with a disco-ball thrown in for good measure, it would have felt like we'd never left. It would have been a high school 'stomp', but with better refreshments.

I attended my 10-year reunion with my husband. I had gone with him the year before to his 10-year reunion and had high hopes for fun and reminiscing--his reunion was fun and I didn't know anyone there at all. Mine was still filled with some clicks that refused to go away, and someone had the bright idea of showing the video montage of our senior year in high school for the highlight of the program. Apparently it was the idea of the people who were in every single scene. Not really the all encompassing love and feel-good situation for the majority of the folks who had paid money for a lousy dinner and lame entertainment. So, after 10 years people were still a little young. Still focused on self. But there were some balding heads and protruding bellies, which thrilled me--so you can see there that I was still my shallow self. :) The good news is that they held it in a resort instead of at the high school...but it did make it hard for the materialistic people to show off the make and model of car they drove up for the occasion....

There was no 15-year reunion--thank goodness.

For my 20-year reunion life had changed. For almost everyone. Suddenly who you were or who you knew didn't matter so much. A lot of people had to look at the name tag to place the face. Some looked the same as they did in high school. The rats. :)

But we could all sit at random tables--not knowing who you were sitting next to until you checked their name tag...and even then you might still not have a clue who they were...and it didn't matter. We could talk, converse, listen. We could share high school stories that even if they weren't directly involved, they understood and appreciated. They had been there. But it didn't matter if they were 'jocks', 'stoners', 'cowboys'...etc. back then. Today they are men and women who happened to have graduated from the same high school the same year I did. They have jobs and responsibilities. Kids. Spouses. Mortgages.

The whole evening was eye opening. I thought about my own kids who at the time would be starting high school in the very near future and thought that if I could teach them anything that would help them enjoy high school more, it would be for them to grasp the concept that clicks don't matter. People matter. If you see someone who needs a friend, BE a friend. It shouldn't matter if they wear a cowboy hat or have multiple piercings. Because in 20 years, these same people will look a lot like you. The clicks will be gone. But they will remember a friend.

In my "deep" pondering I realized Dr. Seuss was a genius. (And in looking for a picture online, I found that I wasn't the only one to think of this line...confirming that I'm NOT all that deep and philosophical...) I'm talking about his story about the Sneetches--you know the one. Star-bellied sneetches and those without "stars on thars"...They all thought having a star on their belly made them better than those without. Until the Mr. McBean and his machine came along and put stars on the bellies of those who didn't have them before, which made the star-bellied sneetches upset so they had theirs removed--and the cycle continued until no one could remember who had a star and who didn't. (Well, and they ran out of money...so they couldn't continue the insanity :) )

But they realized that star or no star, they were really a lot alike. They could accept each other as is. Star. No star.

It is like high school. The goths aren't bad people. The nerds are worth getting to know for more than homework help. The jocks can actually carry a conversation with real words and not just grunts and sports plays. The "in" crowd has down moments just like every other kid on the planet. In other words, star or no star, we all have thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. And we all need a friendly face and someone who will accept us for who we are.

Because 20 years from now the 'stars' won't matter.

If I could teach that to my kids now, it wouldn't take 20 years for them to figure that out. I can't imagine that being a bad thing.

The Power of Pudding

As I type this blog, I am taking five minutes out of my housecleaning schedule to test a theory.

The theory? What are three four-year olds willing to do for a Snack Pack pudding?

All of my older kids are in school, so I get to try to keep the littles busy/entertained/exhausted in order to keep them out of trouble. Or attempt that seemingly impossible task anyway.

So I have just informed them that if they clean the tv room, they can have a pudding.

They are now "folding" blankets and picking up their toys. (To be 100% honest, they are doing those things between bouts of throwing plastic toys at each other--thus the pause in cleaning while they cry and come tell me about it--whining, and using the bathroom).

Apparently I have not only taught them how to clean, but how to do anything else EXCEPT clean. (My typing here is proof of that...I'm avoiding it too)

Let me update their progress and get back to you............

Um. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

The youngest 4 year old has just jammed a video into the VCR the wrong way. The oldest 4 year old is gazing longingly at the pudding in the pantry. And the middle 4 year old is back in the bathroom hoping for a longer break in the action.

[sigh] I guess that means I get to go help them finish the job.

It was a good theory. They did their best, and it kept them out of major trouble (well, unless I can't get the video unstuck....).

I will have to stock up on the pudding and we'll keep at it until they either get the whole idea of keeping things clean--or they grow out of the pudding bribery stage and move on to cold hard cash....