Round Two of Insanity Begins...Now. On all Sorts of Levels...:)

It has been awhile since I have ranted.  Mainly because it has been awhile since I have posted. :)

But today I must rant.

Today was the end of  my 60 days of doing Insanity workouts.  Yay for me for actually doing it. Right?  At this point that is my only consolation. I completed 60 days of the workouts.

My problem/rant is this...and I really wish it could be someone else's fault instead of my own.  I much prefer placing blame elsewhere...

From the day I started this workout until today I lost a whopping 2 pounds.

2. Two. Not a nice large number like 20.  Or 40.

Nope. Just two.

Now.  That said, I did also keep track of my measurements.  And in that same span of time, I lost a total of 18 1/2 inches over my body.  So that is something.

But seriously?  Two lousy pounds?

It is not an easy workout.  Most days I argued with myself about actually taking the time to do it.  But I always won (or lost--depending on your mindset) the argument and did the workout anyway.

Apparently in a huge effort to shed two pounds.

My 'before' photos look suspiciously like my 'after' photos.

So I sit back and reflect and try to figure out where I went wrong with this.  I look at the website for Insanity and note that other people have had this same complaint.  That makes me feel marginally better to know that I am not some strange anomaly where the universe mocks my attempts and only allows two pounds to slip off just to keep me guessing.

And I keep trying to talk myself into thinking that if fat is coming off, but I am replacing it with muscle...well, you can't lose weight if you are replacing and not just removing, right?

(That one is my favorite argument..)

I just wish my before and afters looked more different.  If they did, I would post them here.  Since they don't, you can just track me down and I will pose for you in person and you will see the before and after.

My husband says he can tell that the effort has been worth it.  Of course, this is the guy who instead of stopping with that part of the sentence added "because, seriously, before you started working out? You were scaring me."

So I have that going for me too. Geez.

So tomorrow begins round 2 of Insanity for me.

It is 60 days of working out.  Which really means that instead of their 6 days per week, I manage 5 days per week (Saturdays are notoriously too full up with family things for me to work out).  And I always try to get over to the Rec Center to take some TRX classes once or twice each week on top of those Insanity workouts.  And this go around I am also playing in a Monday night co-ed indoor soccer league.

From all of that, it sounds perfectly reasonable to assume one would lose weight.  Right?

Here comes my honesty clause...

For the life of me I can't give up chocolate.  Sugar is my nemesis.

I have been eating better these last couple of months.  But this time around I really, really, really (yes, three reallys) need to see the scale move lower when I stand on it. Naked.  Sucking in. (Like that will make me lighter...but one can dream).

So along with Insanity, TRX, & indoor soccer, I will also be going back on my Jorge Cruise Belly Fat Cure diet. Low sugar and carbs. More vegetables and proteins. It isn't a crappy diet.  I actually like it and it really does work. But because of my chocolate addiction, I am also going to give myself permission to have a treat once per week or I am fairly certain I will fail miserably.

The 'all or nothing' mentality is the OCD maneuver that helped my mom fail at her low-fat diet.  And I can feel the same tendencies in me.  If I can allow myself to have one fun-sized Snickers and not feel guilty about it, then I won't just give up completely and inhale the entire bag.  And it will keep me happy and sane.

My mom said that she decided she would "rather be happy than thin".  This after she had lost A LOT of weight. She had put in the effort to lose weight and then-- seemingly in one moment--she decided it wasn't worth it.  And she went back to eating whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and as much as she wanted.  And she gained most, if not all of the weight back. I think she probably is happier eating what she wants without worrying about it making her heavier. And she has also been blessed with being healthy, so the added weight hasn't been an issue with her health.

What it really comes down to though is that I really am going to have to admit one of these days that I am getting old.

I still feel like I am 20-something on the inside.  And so I think people should see me and think that I look that young on the outside. But inevitably someone will show me a photo of myself, or I will walk past a mirror, and my illusion is shattered.I still think that I can eat like I did in my 20's and not have weight stick to me like it is too scared to let go. I either need to get a grip on my weight and fitness, or I need to hire 'people'.  Movie stars have 'people', so you see the women my age and they look great.  But us mere mortals don't have a team of 'people' to make us up, or to photoshop our pictures.  We are stuck with reality. Bummer.

Getting old just isn't as fun as one would hope it would be. Stinkin' lousy metabolism thinks it should slow down. I find that a bit rude. We already have to get gray hairs and wrinkles.  You would think one round of Insanity would be enough to kickstart the weight loss again. But no.  I am not that lucky. I get to go for round 2.  And I refuse to consider that after two rounds I will still be at the two pound weight loss.

By my calculations, I should be done with Insanity by the first week in August going off the 5 x per week workout instead of 6. Which means that a couple of weeks after that Kady will be coming home from her mission. Which is when I should fit into my clothes I have hanging on my closet door as motivation.

Apparently I need to hang the clothes from my refrigerator to have the correct motivation...but I am determined this time to get it all right.

Hopefully by August I will have before and after photos that actually look different.  If that is the case, I will be happy to post them here.

 If it isn't the case, I will post my mailing address instead and you can all send me a bag of Snickers.

Just Some Oscar Ranting

I usually don't take the time to sit and watch the Oscars.

This year I watched most of the Academy Awards with my family.  My daughter Victoria likes the award shows.  She gets some humor out of watching people/celebrities and hearing what comes out of their mouths.
Plus, Ellen Degeneres was pretty darn funny, so we had that going for us.

I actually got so caught up in the antics, that I forgot my daughter in Korea was going to be emailing me for a bit.  Once I remembered, I left the tv room and went and "chatted" with her for the rest of the show.

Apparently I missed the 'good' stuff.

I missed John Travolta's mangling of names.  I still am not quite sure what happened there.  I popped onto Facebook the next morning and there is a name generator posted at his expense..it tells you what your name would be if John Travolta were to attempt saying it.

Kind of funny.

If you aren't John Travolta.

But to give the guy credit, it wasn't like he was trying to say an easy name.  I mean, Idina Menzel? People who have known me for years still pronounce my last name incorrectly.  And I call my daughter Olivia "Ka-Kel-Olivia" on a regular basis. People who don't even know I have a sister named Diane, will call me Diane.  Which is weird, but I still answer to it because growing up my mom called me "Di-Sue-Whoever You Are". So you see where I got it. (Thanks for that mom :) )

So you deal with it and move on.

Or create a quiz and post it on Facebook for the masses to mock the error openly.

I also missed Matthew McConaughey's acceptance speech for Best Actor.

Another buzz on the ol' Facebook social media frenzy.

It seemed to start out with shock that Mr. McConaughey would be so crass as to thank God for His hand in the opportunities he had been given throughout his career.  Shock enough that the celebrities were "lukewarm" with that statement.  It seems to me that it basically shows how far the more liberal celebrities (who are very much in the majority in that area of employment) have strayed from God. It appeared to make them a bit uncomfortable that he would mention God.  Because if God really has a hand in people's lives, then how can they keep their neurotic selfish Me-Me-Me type attitudes? --and I realize I am generalizing and that there are many lovely celebrities out there who would be great to know and who are down to earth and who use their power for good, but because of the reaction from the audience during his speech, I am going with my generalization. Lukewarm is not how Matthew McConaughey's speech should have been received.  He just won the flipping Oscar, for goodness sake.  Applaud the man. Don't panic because he is showing that even for all his naked drumming and his really hard work at getting ready for roles like the one that won him this Oscar, he is still a believer in that Deity. A believer that God knows him and helps him with his choices, and is pleased with him.

I can picture the other celebrities now....

"Well this is uncomfortable.  Let's just clap softly.  Maybe a golfer's clap...

Did he just say that we might actually have to acknowledge that our gift and talent isn't just us, but might be a God-given blessing?

Well, doesn't that beat all?

No, that can't possibly be right.  But just to be safe, let's ignore that part of the speech now."

Heaven forbid they have a 'come to Jesus' moment and have to realize that there is a God.  He is aware of them.  He loves them even with all their self-absorbed lifestyles and their ease at breaking any given commandment at will.  Usually that adultery one.  Which, to be fair, seems to be a sticking point for even the common folk. (But the percentage of lasting marriages for people in the entertainment industry are dismal...so it makes me wonder at the morals and beliefs and integrity of those who choose to gain celebrity).  But that is a topic for another time & I am rambling myself off track...

No.  They don't want to keep talking about his comments on God's part in his career and life.  Nope. Now they want the focus on McConaughey to be the part where he thinks of himself as his own hero.

For rude.

Seriously?  People are upset about this one?  That is a shaky cover for trying not to discuss the God issue.  Deflect the focus off God and onto his Hero complex. That will work.

Geez.

Pushing back his goal of looking up to himself every ten years isn't a bad thing.  What, you want him to look up to one of you other celebrities who just gave him a golf clap when he had the nerve to mention God in his acceptance speech?  Seriously.

From my perspective I think it is great that he is his own hero. He is setting goals.  He is trying to achieve them.  And ten years later instead of thinking he is all that, he re-sets his goals another ten years to push himself even more and to become the kind of man that he can look up to.

It would be great if there were someone else out there that he could look up to, but setting yourself to a higher standard and then aiming yourself that way so that ten years from now you can see your growth..but then instead of patting yourself on the back for being so awesome, you set the goals even higher so that you are always reaching for self-improvement?

And you are keeping God into the equation so that you are still grounded?

How is that wrong?

The answer is, it isn't.  What IS wrong is when people--whether that be celebrities, politicians, other public officials, church leaders (any church) or anyone with a job in which others look up to you--so yes, that includes Stay-at-home Moms, teachers, etc-- aren't setting themselves to higher standards.  You have people watching you.  You have people learning from you, depending on you.  Whether that person is your child, your employee, your co-worker, or your biggest fan.  Everyone is being watched.

The key is to get everyone to set higher goals.  Be your own hero.  Be someone worthy of being someone else's hero so that Matthew McConaughey can find someone in his business that he can strive to be like.

Be that boss that your employees know is fair and understanding.

Be that parent that your child wants to grow up and emulate.

But even more than that, don't forget God.

Because even if the rest of the world lets you down and there isn't one single person worthy of your consideration as someone to look up to, God is there. Hoping that you will succeed.  Hoping you will be happy even through the difficult times that everyone faces.  And mostly, hoping that you will remember Him. Remember all He has done and will do for you. Because when it comes down to it, He loves you.  No matter what your job, age, size, color, or if you were never even nominated at the Academy Awards.

And you know what?  When you work hard and do your best in whatever it is you do, even if the rest of the world gives you a lukewarm golf clap, God is there on His feet giving you a standing ovation.

I Am the Parent of a Bully

Hot button topics seem to be in abundance these days. Most seem to be of a political slant--Obamacare, gun control, gay marriage, etc.

I am not going to voice my opinion on the political.  I will just say that I am conservative.  I think shooting guns is fun. I don't like that my health insurance changed this year--but it had nothing to do with Obamacare, so I would hate that part anyway.  And I have friends and family who are gay--where the most controversial topic on that one that I have ever voiced was to a good friend of mine after we had a lunch date with another friend of ours who happens to be a married lesbian that went something like this:

Me: This is going to sound weird, but I don't 'get' lesbians.  And yet I sort of understand the draw for gay men.
Friend: That is because you are heterosexual.
Me: Oh. [pause] That totally makes sense.
Friend: Of course it does.

But those topics aren't what I wanted to write about. Nope.  The topic I wanted to discuss is much nearer to my heart. And sanity. And every grey hair on my head that you would be able to see if I didn't get it colored by the lovely Lori every 8 weeks.  Like clockwork.

The topic for today's blog is 'BULLYING"

Ah.  Overdone you say?

Perhaps.You will hear people yelling STOP BULLYING constantly.  You will read articles about how awful it is for the life of the bullied child. How we can stop these bullies. How we need to teach them the right way to behave around others. There is A LOT of literature and helps and media access about being bullied that can help those in that situation.

My take is a bit different than that.

I am the parent of a bully.

I am also the parent of a child who is bullied--but thankfully not by my other child.

So I live both sides of the equation. And while I completely understand the fervor in which people discuss how to stop bullying and how awful it is--I do understand, it is a sad state that we live in where kids empathy for other kids is non-existent in some. Where suicides can be linked back to bullying.  It is sad and scary and we all want it to stop.

But I want to talk about the other end. We don't talk much about the bully. Or being a parent of a bully.

Frankly, it sucks.

I have this cute kid who has no empathy and no grasp at all of consequences.

And sometimes that cute kid turns into YOUR child's nightmare.

For no apparent reason.

And that right there is the hard part for me.  He doesn't single one kid out and pick on him or her. He can be best friends with the child he bullies.And then in one quick instant he hurts or teases or yells at that friend.

And then 10 minutes later he is back to wanting to be best buddies.  Not realizing that what he did those 10 minutes ago makes it so the other child really wants nothing to do with him anymore.

And I get a phone call to come get him from school.  And he is mad and pouty for a long time after we get home--especially since he knows the drill.  Suspended from school?  No relaxing day off for you, my friend.  You get to help me with all my housework jobs. Some I didn't even know I needed to do today. Any other punishment will be discussed when your dad gets home from work and he and I figure out what to do this time that might actually make you pay attention next time and make the better choice.

And I hope beyond hope that I don't get a visit or phone call from the other kid's parents.  Because usually they are--rightfully--angry, and want to fix blame on someone.  But instead of blaming the child, I get blamed for my lack of parenting skills. (In their mind...and probably in most people's minds when they hear about a bully)

Now, I agree that there are some parents who do nothing to stop their kid from bully tendencies. Parents who see aggression as a good thing. Parents who think the other kid was probably 'asking for it'.

Or my 'favorite'--"Not MY kid. He/she would never do something like that."  The head-in-the-sand parent who doesn't believe the teachers, administration, students, neighbors, random strangers, that their kid is the problem.

Those parents are hard pressed in my book to ever be part of the solution.

However, there are some parents, like myself, who have done everything possible to ensure that this kid who is a bully, figures out how to be a productive human being. We try therapy.  For both him and for my husband and I just to figure out how to raise him right. We have him in special after school tutoring programs independent of public schools, to try and raise his competency in schoolwork and his ability to focus on tasks, so that maybe in an ideal world this will start to sink in and he will not be distracted by others and he will learn that he can do his work and not have to be drawn into everyone else's business.  How to make GOOD choices. We involve him in competitive sports to try and get some of that energy out so, frankly, he is too tired at the end of the day to put up much effort to be a bully. And, most importantly, we praise him like crazy when we catch him making good choices.

Seriously, if my child could learn two things we all seem to take for granted, his life would be so much happier. Empathy and consequences.  HUGE difference in his life if those two things would 'stick'.

And that part right there about his life being so much happier?  Well, most people don't think about the bully as the one who is unhappy and having problems and needing positive help. We see the bully as the instigator. We see their victims.  But we have difficulty ourselves in having that same empathy toward the bully.

It is always harder to like the mean kid.

And it is an easy way out to blame the parents. Or the lack of parenting. Or the media. Or Obama. Or gay marriage.

Blame doesn't help. Finding the solution helps. Not jumping to conclusions about the parenting skills of the bully helps. Helping the parents of the bully if they DO lack the skill necessary to redirect the hard to raise child.

I have 6 other children. This one kid takes more time and money and effort than any of the other six combined.  I am not sitting around hoping he grows out of it. (I did that when he was in his 'terrible twos'..then his three's--figuring he would grow out of it when he was four--then five--then six...then we realized it was a figure it out or he ends up in jail someday type of moment and we worked like crazy to figure him out enough to hopefully help him)

So with all my therapy, and learning curves, and advice (asked for and not) that I have been given over the last couple of years, what have I learned that I could possibly share with other parents who are in my same boat? Because you know there are a lot of parents out there who are in my situation--if there weren't, we wouldn't have all the anti-bullying campaigns.

I have learned that not everything works every time. One time I can give him an ultimatum or a chance to make a better choice and he will choose wisely.  And the next time I can offer him those same things and he goes hard the other direction.

I have learned that for my son, empathy might have to always be something that he has to consciously consider. It isn't natural for him to have empathy right now. Therapists have taught him how to recognize other people's feelings, which was good.  But honestly, I don't think he actually cares what other people think or feel.  So I have learned that I must teach him--repeatedly, as often as needs be and then ten times more for good measure--that he HAS to consider the other person's feelings when making choices that might affect someone else. Short of tattooing 'The Golden Rule' on his forehead, this one has been tough. But I have high hopes that someday it might stick.

I have learned that people will think I am a bad parent. It doesn't matter what we are doing or have done to help our son give up his bullying tendencies. Other parents don't know what we have done. They imagine we are those other parents who figure it isn't our kid, boys will be boys, grunt, grunt...etc. etc.  They don't know that we have been told by our own family therapist--who is awesome by the way--that we need to pay attention to our son and if we see him start getting wound up or getting himself in a potentially bad situation where at the minimum a meltdown from him might occur, that we need to redirect RIGHT THEN. If my son makes a bad choice, it is already too late for me to punish him in any manner that will be effective. Because my son doesn't understand the concept of consequences.  This one is a hard one. If I send my other son to a time out, or take his xbox away for punishment, he understands why.  He tries to make better choices next time so it doesn't happen again.  If my bully son gets sent to time out, he doesn't get it.  He knows he did something wrong.  He knows WHAT he did wrong. He knows the time out is because of that choice. But he doesn't really get that the choice he made caused the punishment received. And because of that, he also flat out doesn't care when he is punished.

Sent to his room for an hour? Whatever.

So, in order to keep my son from making a bad choice I have to pay close attention to his moods, his environment, etc. and then redirect his focus if it looks like it might go bad. Even if that is a quick, "Hey, can you take the dog for a walk around the block?" Done. He loves to do that and it makes his mind focus away from whatever was starting to cause a break down to begin with.

That is actually harder to do than you'd think. Which is where the people thinking I am a bad parent comes in. My therapist warned me about it.  He is right. Once my son makes that bad choice, it makes no sense to punish him. Not in a way that the outside world thinks is appropriate for a bully. He will get a time out.  He will get another discussion on which choice would have been better. But in our reality, it simply doesn't work. He has to be redirected BEFORE the action. And his teachers at school are all aware of this too--it wouldn't be fair to them or to him if they didn't have that particular heads up.  So we are lucky in that his teachers are great at paying attention to him and they have been known to have my son take a folded blank sheet of paper to the office for them.  To run an "errand"--made up though it is--so that he gets his focus somewhere else and can re-center himself before the bully emerges.

I have learned that some kids are just plain bullies.  And some kids have parents who need a crash course on reality with their child. And it is a pain to be lumped into categories that just aren't the whole story.

I have learned that praise to the child who is a bully goes a long way to getting him into a spot where he is more open to direction.

And I have learned that if you take off a bedroom door, it can no longer be slammed over and over and over.  And over.  While that child tries to make a non-vocal point. (Yes, that he is mad he is being sent to his room.  Again.)

And if your bully child starts throwing things in anger, if you then get to choose anything from his possessions to keep for yourself for each item he throws, he will throw fewer things. (You can't just keep the item he or she throws...they get smart and actually look around the room to throw things they don't care if they have or not...you have to take something, for a little while anyway, that they care about....part of having an intelligent bully :) )

Be an advocate for your child. Find teachers who actually care that your child is successful. If that isn't happening in your school now--find a school that has qualified teachers who aren't jaded and who know how important it is to have your kid find purpose. And someone besides family to back them up.

I don't know if this will help anyone.  But I hope it at least lets someone know that if they are a parent of a bully, they aren't alone.  Not by a long shot.  But also, that there is someone out there who feels for you. Who is on your side and hopes you come out of the 'parenting a bully joy' with most of your sanity still intact. Give up now on keeping your hair color. Grey is the new you. :)  But there comes a time when there are fewer meltdowns. Fewer calls from the school.

I am still waiting for those times...but I know they are there. ;)

Just do your best. Find reasons to praise your child. Redirect behavior. And don't worry about what other parents think.  If you are doing your best and it is working...stick to your guns.  If you are doing your best and you are still struggling, find yourself help. Talk to someone who knows what they are doing. Be open minded--because at least 50% of the time it really is your child.  Don't ignore that fact and fall into the "not my child" syndrome. It doesn't help you or your child to bury your head in the sand and hope he or she just grows out of it.

Bullying is a hot topic for a reason.

Good parents want what is best for their child.

And you are a good parent. So do what you need to do to get a handle on the bullying child.

I am trying to do just that.  Daily.

And I love him just as much with a bedroom door as without. :)

"Let me sum up" 2014 Blog Post Numero One

Apparently I am not great at maintaining a regular blog.  Not a single post in 2013. Or in 2012.  Two whole years with zero posts to my blog.  And only four posts in 2011--and all four of those were in the month of April.

I have no idea what that means.

Except that time got away from me.  Or for the last two plus years I have had nothing to write home about.

Must be that first one. "Let me explain--no, there is too much--let me sum up.."

Since April 2011 I have had two daughters graduate from high school (2011 & 2012).  I have had one of those daughters graduate from Western Wyoming Community College with both Associate of Arts and Associate of Science degrees--having gone there on academic and soccer scholarships.  This same daughter is now serving an LDS mission in the Arizona, Phoenix mission since February of 2013 and will be home this coming August (2014).  The 2nd daughter also went to college--got in one year at Dixie State University with a partial academic scholarship.  And she, too, is serving an LDS mission.  But she is in Korea, Seoul.  She left Sept 11, 2013 and will be back March of 2015.

(Feel free to read their letters home--I am mostly caught up with their blogs...a little behind..but not 2 years, so that is something...  sisterkaitlyntolley.blogspot.com and sisterraqueltolley.blogspot.com )

That isn't nothing.  That is a lot of something. :)

And that is just two of my kids.

My husband has changed jobs twice in that time.

Our poodle died.

We got a whippet.

Our 3rd daughter has a driver's license.

Our older son is now 14 and taller than me.

Our younger son is an awesome soccer goalie on his comp team and he is also officially ADD, so with meds and more patience than I thought I had, we are coming to an understanding.  I am understanding that parenting is harder than it looks--even with having 5 kids before this son came into our family--and he is understanding that in order to not have to live in his room for the rest of his life from being grounded 24/7, he has to start taking responsibility for his actions.  We are getting there.  Much more slowly than I want, but at least we are progressing.  Most days. :)

Our 4th daughter is also a soccer machine, playing center defense on her competition team.  She has also been taking art lessons.

Our youngest daughter is playing rec soccer (prefers scoring goals over stopping them, so talks her coach into letting her play forward as much as possible), and is in art this year with daughter #4.  This kid has also developed a huge love of horses, and is still trying to learn the art of reading.  It is taking her longer, and is frustrating to her.  But we hope she will get there.

For me, I have been NOT writing.  Not in my blog, not on my unfinished novel.  Nothing.  I have read a lot.  I have started a business painting wall murals.  Well, I painted one giant wall mural last year for a couple who built a new home.  I painted their bonus room above their garage.  It was a big room  A big job.  Took me three months to complete, but it ended up being pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.  This is a link to a youtube video their son took of the finished room.  It doesn't show it to it's best advantage--there are a TON of details that are left out of this short clip, but you can get an idea..

Bonus Room at the Young's

I would like to work at doing more, but that younger son of mine has a school schedule that makes it a bit difficult at this time.  So when I get my scheduling under some sort of control that will make me not seem so flaky, then I will pursue more painting jobs.

 It is mid-February now...enough time has passed that I don't have to consider my next paragraph a New Year's Resolution. So here goes...

I am going to have a goal (NOT a resolution) to write MUCH more frequently on this blog.

Apparently just posting this entry means I have already met said goal...:)

But, to be more specific, I plan on writing a decent entry at least once per week.  And by decent, I mean not so much rambling nothingness, and hopefully a little more substance.

If for no other reason than to shock those who know me into realizing that I actually have an opinion.  Not that I care what they think.  But some have been known to show genuine surprise that I would speak up in situations--i.e. when I was on jury duty--and others who seem set back a bit if something funny comes from my mouth.

Which I find a bit rude.

Like my husband is the only one allowed a sense of humor in my family.

Granted, he is funny.  And he is a loud talker.  So people hear him more. :)  That, and most of my 'jokes' are now mumbled under my breath because I have found that I am still not old enough to get away with off-color comments.  The one boon to old age--freedom of expression and speech. In a 'that's what she said' type of atmosphere. :)

So there you have it.  My goal is now written down and on the interweb...so it must all be true.

And now I have documentation, so hopefully that will put my writing self back in gear.

We shall see.

Napa Valley Ragnar--kill me now...

Have I ever mentioned that I hate running?

I love soccer. I can play soccer all day long. But jogging? For fun/exercise/whatever? No thank you.

And yet, even with that definite attitude toward running, I have handed over my check for my entry fee to the 2011 Napa Valley Ragnar.

That is a running relay race.

Running.

On purpose.

I have until September 17th to get my buttocks in shape enough to not completely die in a relay race with 11 other people on my team.

My sister Susan is the runner. She enjoys it. She goes on vacation--big time vacations, like Aruba on her anniversary trip--and still takes the time to get out and run.

For fun.

I don't get that even a little.

Susan is going to be on the Ragnar team with me..it is her group that is doing it and she is letting me join in. She might regret it later, but I hope to have garnered a little better relationship with running by then than my hate/hate relationship I have now.

I am also running the Ragnar with my husband and with my 2nd daughter Raquel. Both of whom are the type who can run for a long time and not want to kill somebody.

Barely break a sweat.

I don't find them fun when running.

I let Raquel run with me last week and the stink ran backwards the whole time and wouldn't stop talking.

And expected me to respond to her questions and comments. Like I could take time from gasping for air to chat.

My 7 year old daughter rode her bike alongside while I ran and kept saying things like "You sure run slow, Mom"..and "I am pretty sure I could run faster than you." So I took her little bike from her and rode while she ran the rest of the way home.

Ha.

Showed her.

(Actually, she ran easily and quickly and still looked at me as if I were a huge disappointment..I am going to pretend it is because a 40-something year old woman probably should avoid riding a purple 20" bike, but I am not dim enough to really believe that)

I am posting my Ragnar decision here so it is public. I cannot back out. I am holding myself accountable.

If you see me jogging on the street please refrain from all laughter and rude comments.

It is always funny to yell "Run faster! You're winning!" to total strangers who are out jogging. Not so funny to be on the receiving end of that one.

So there you have it. I am running in the Napa Valley Ragnar. I'm sure the scenery will be marvelous even if I see most of it from between my knees as I am bent over sucking air.

Music Videos for your Viewing & Listening Pleasure

The first video is the Hoobastank video I mentioned in my previous blog...if you got that far to notice. I like this song a lot.






And this one is an '80's favorite, although I don't remember the weirdness of the video...I guess 80's and 'weird video' are synonymous. :)





And since I am a mostly closet country listener eer since having a lovely Texan roommate Tammy who showed us all some tolerance for the genre, (although I usually only like the funny songs, like 'I'm Still a Guy' by Brad Paisley) here is one from Toby Keith that my whole family gets a kick out of:



That's it. Just 3 songs for you to enjoy today.

At least I posted again and didn't wait another 6 months like usual..:)

My 100th Post :)

That is a lot of rambling...

In recognition of my 100th blog post I am going to make a list of random facts about me. Things I like, don't like. Things I find fascinating. Random. 100 of them, so random will be key. :) And yes, it is about me and my world...so you can just wait for blog #101 if you don't want to suffer through this. ;-D

1. I like Hershey's chocolate bars dipped in Jif peanut butter. Not Reeses. I mean the 'homemade' "You got your chocolate on my peanut butter!" stuff.

2. My favorite dinner since I was a kid is spaghetti.

3. I love dogs...but that said:

4. I don't like schnauzers or basset hounds.

5. Pet peeve #1-people's spelling errors with the to, too, two; your, you're; their, there, & they're

6. I don't know how to snow ski, but have lived in Utah my whole life. (It is the stopping I don't do well...)

7. I have actually gotten to the point where I have to do math to remember how old I am.

8. Favorite dessert type item: Kneader's Bakery's fruit tart. That is one dessert I would 'cheat' with and not feel one bit of remorse.

9. I don't like putting laundry away

10. Apparently I'm a "white" on the color code chart. Not really sure what that means.

11. I don't believe in palm readers/fortune tellers, but refuse to go to one 'just in case'. Which probably means I don't want to hear anything bad because I will worry..

12. Pet peeve #2-People who sing really loudly and really badly all at the same time without realizing that they are hurting the ears of everyone within 10 miles because they are positive they are most excellent at singing. Except when I am the one who is singing. That doesn't bug me. At that point people who are peeved at my singing bug me.

13. I get a kick out of people when they find out I knew and dated Doug before my mission. They still have the mindset that if a girl has the opportunity she should get married instead of going on a mission. For some that is probably true. For me it was never an option--I had my decision to go on a mission set since I was 8. It never crossed my mind to stay home and get married instead.

14. I don't like my kids to have the candy 'Nerds'. The reason? They have never, EVER had some without dumping most of them on the floor.

15. I also hugely dislike Easter grass in Easter baskets for basically the same reason...I find Easter grass all over the house. In July. It seems to expand and grow and multiply. Not unlike Easter bunnies...

16. I have a tendency to go to boutiques and shops looking for home furnishings/wall hangings/etc and end up getting nothing because I am sure I can do just as good of job painting a picture or making some sort of decoration just as well as what I could buy...and thus save a lot of money. I don't take into consideration that I never find time to make these things, so I go a long time with bare walls and little home decor.

17. I don't like sad movies. Happy endings are half the fun of a movie, so if it makes me cry but doesn't make me feel better at the wrap-up, I don't like it.

18. I have never seen the movie "Titanic" because of #17.

19. I want to learn how to play the guitar

20. I think it would be fun to learn to ride a motorcycle, but the whole hands, feet, shift, brake, gas thing is too much for my simple brain and coordination so I am fairly certain that I would learn and then I would crash. So actually learning to ride a motorcycle isn't very high on my list of things to do once I remember that part.

21. I have mentioned before that I am a decent ventriloquist because of liking to sing to my car radio without drivers around me realizing that I am belting out show tunes. Well, now I have decided that cell phones have made that trick unnecessary. I can sing and pretend I'm on my hands-free phone and no one bats an eye anymore. As long as I remember to not bob and weave aka:dance at the same time. That sort of throws it off a bit.

22. I think people should look at me and be surprised that I'm not 10 years younger than my real age. I don't feel this old so I can't possibly LOOK this old. Right? I know, I know...no one is surprised and I should just be glad people don't think I look 10 years OLDER than my real age. [that isn't nearly as satisfying to my ego...]

23. I am eating peanut M&M's right now and they are NOT part of my diet. [muahaha....]

24. I like to golf

25. I am allergic to walnuts. If I eat them they give me canker sores. Which is unpleasant, but sometimes I eat them anyway just to live on the edge. (And if they happen to be encased in caramel and chocolate..)

26. I have the best parents in the world. :)

27. One of my favorite songs is 'The Reason' by Hoobastank. Interesting music video too which I will post as post #101 so you can hear it..

28. What in the heck does 'Hoobastank' mean and why did they make that the name of their band??

29. On the birth order charts, I don't think I fit many of the 'oldest child' category listings..except for the part about not liking change. And maybe the part about being bossy. ;)

30. I think I am hilarious. Even when no one else does.

31. Sometimes I catch my reflection in my car window and am surprised at how old I am. Dang it.

32. I've stopped watching very much tv. The only thing I watch really is Sportscenter. It started out as wind down time with Doug after the kids are in bed. Ends up being me watching while he falls asleep on the couch. (Stupid car reflection is rubbing off on every other aspect of my life showing me getting older..)

33. I've learned the hard way to never ask questions you really don't want to truthful answer for. Like "Who looks older, me or that person (who looks at least 10 yrs older than me...to me)over there?"; or "Do I look like I've gained weight?"

34. My favorite chocolate like item for the past couple of years is chocolate covered cinnamon bears. Love them.

35. Food storage is fine and dandy until you realize half of what you have expired 3 years ago. Apparently 'rotate' isn't in my storage vocabulary.

36. Zumba is fun.

37. I see joggers and wish I thought jogging was fun. But I hate jogging. (probably should have capitalized the 'h' in that...)

38. I am really, really bad at making sure I serve a vegetable with dinner. I'm not fond enough of vegetables in general to want to make them. I only like them when served to me. :)

39. I think one of the reasons why I am a Primary teacher in my church is so that I will go home on Sundays liking my own kids more...because:

40. Other people's children drive me a little nuts. Not all of them. Just a select few.

41. I don't feel bad about #40 because I have kids of my own who fill that same reality for all other Primary (and school) teachers. And, lets be honest, most neighbors too.

42. One of the best places in the world to 'people watch' is the State Fair. Holy moley.

43. On the lines of #42, I have begun the self-entertainment of secretly taking photos of some of the most..interesting..characters I run across at large public places..like the fair and Lagoon. But not in a creepy way. Somehow this one doesn't sound quite right...

44. Why is it that the very second you start a healthy eating regimine, you suddenly have a plethora of junk food in your house?

45. 'Plethora' is a funky word.

46. I always thought I was a decent speller...but I am a huge fan of the spell checker.

47. I really, really, really like my Nook eReader.

48. I am a most excellent 2nd in command. In my opinion, I do better when I have to keep track of what other people are doing--i.e. I think I was a much better junior companion than senior comanion on my mission. So I don't do totally in charge well...but am good at keeping the one who is in charge in line and on task. (Okay, I nag...)

49. I get annoyed by stupid people a lot more quickly than I used to..which annoys me more because I can feel the inherited scowly furrows between my eyebrows deepen as I unintentionally give them my 'you've got to be kidding me' look.

50. I'm halfway to the end of this blog post. Still with me?

51. I'm glad I can blame my 'scowly furrows' on an inherited facial feature. I would hate for the furrows to be there just because I am ornery. :)

52. Two favorite college traditions--and I will put them in two numbers because 100 items are getting harder to come up with--1. Studying for finals with roommates and taking a break at 2 a.m. by driving to Denny's for hot chocolate and a side of hashbrowns.

53. And 2., also a food tradition during finals: eating oatmeal cookie dough.

54. Speaking of which, I really don't like oatmeal cookies. The dough I love. The cookies, not so much. Unless there are raisins in the dough and then I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft. pole..Ick.

55. In case you couldn't tell...I don't like raisins.

56. I also don't like olives or celery. I've tried my whole life to like those things, but just plain don't.

57. My favorite daughter, nay, my favorite child is Victoria.

58. I have funny kids..as you can tell by #57 when I left this blog up and someone took over. :) I love them all.

59. I eat some foods weird...for example, I really prefer to eat a Snickers by eating the bottom part first and then the top. So I eat the nugat off and then leave the caramel/peanut part for last. This particular habit drives my husband crazy. But he is the type to eat an Oreo like any old cookie and not take it apart. So what does he know? :)

60. If Snickers would come in a version of only carmel and peanuts it would make both me AND my husband happy. Me, because it would no longer be a drawn out process for eating it, and my husband because he would no longer get disgusted with seeing me dissect a candy bar.

61. Much to my embarassment, I am a sympathy crier. I was much 'tougher' before my mission. Could hold it back better. Now there is no stopping it. Darn it all.

62. If I had monthly discretional funds, I would pay to have someone else clean my house. Total no brainer on that one.

63. When I was a teenager, I looked forward to being 26. I thought I would be single, have a german shepherd and a Jeep..and 26 seemed old enough to be finally considered an adult, but young enough to have lots of fun. Instead at 26 I was married with a baby and one more on the way—I did have a german shepherd though.. Funny how real life is usually a bit different than you expect. It was at that time a completely different kind of ‘fun’. I never thought I would be 26 watching Barney for my ‘fun’. :)

64. Even after years of dealing with my computer, I still consider myself computer illiterate. I do things the hard way with the computer programs. Kind of annoying to see Doug zip through an Excel worksheet inserting all kinds of fun and having it work out quickly, after I have just spent an hour doing what just took him 3 minutes.

65. Coming up with 100 thoughts, things about me, etc. is harder than I thought. I started this stupid blog entry 4 months ago.

66. I have a most excellent husband. I am very proud of all he accomplishes at work and at church. He knows practically everyone in the Stake from being on the high council for the last 5+ years, and I can honestly say that he genuinely likes everyone he meets and they seem to all genuinely like him back. He loves public speaking and it shows in the talks he gives. They are always filled with humor and insight and even I get compliments on his behalf once he has spoken to a ward or group from people who were touched by something he said or did.

67. I, on the other hand, hate public speaking..have a hard time keeping names and faces right, and prefer to be anti-social. So we are a good balance. :)

68. One thing I can do, however, that Doug cannot, is list descriptions and traits of pretty much every AKC recognized breed of dog, and some that aren’t recognized. It is a skill, like anything else. Not one to really brag about I suppose…but it is something. :)

69. I hate all things math. I can actually feel my brain rebel against working when I look at a math problem. Mostly because I look at a math problem and can’t really figure out where the question is. Fractions make my head hurt.

70. Hallelujah, only 30 more of these to go. Are you still reading along? Or are you skim reading the same way I am skim writing?

71. I love to read. I am a fast reader, so I can whip through a book quickly which makes me feel a little less guilty about reading when I should be cleaning instead.

72. My favorite cereal as a kid was ‘Freakies’. Discontinued for a long time now. Here is a picture of the box: 73. Favorite cereals now are still from that time..I like Count Chocula & BooBerry & Frankenberry cereals. Harder to find except around Halloween, which might actually be why I like them so much still.

74. We have always loved German Shepherds, but since I insist on our next dog being a mostly indoor dog, and GSD’s shed more than anything and would drive us all crazy to live in that amount of dog hair, we are looking to find a new breed of dog to own. If anyone has a suggestion, our criteria is the following—large size, more rare breed (i.e. not a lab or something that everyone seems to have…not necessarily rare in the exact sense), low shedding, good with people. We are open to suggestions.

75. The very best place to have a hot dog is at a ball park. (duh)

76. Mariah will be in 1st grade next year. So that means I will get to finally go back to school and finish my degree. Too darn bad I STILL have no idea what I want that degree to be in. If I could find a job instead I would probably do that. But I think I need a degree to be more employable. For all the jokes about how much a homemaker does and how to put it all on a resume, I don’t see employers going for that whole shpeel.

77. I think back on things my mom allowed me to do and wonder to myself “What was she thinking??” Letting us ride our bikes from our home in Bountiful to my dad’s work in SLC…by taking a busy-even-then Redwood Road from Bountiful to 1100 South in SLC? My kids wish I were as nice as Grandma Jamie. I get cranky when they want to go to the Smith’s a mile away that has sidewalks the whole way and only one light to cross.

78. I still wish I had a Jeep. Or a Lotus Elise. :) Playing xbox GT2000 made me really like the Lotus.

79. I might be the worse player ever for Halo, but that GT2000 was MINE. I owned that game. Beat everyone. Which is probably why the family enjoys beating me at Halo now. I just can’t get the controller and my head to match up…I try to make it look up, it looks down. Every time.

80. I can’t believe I still have to come up with 20 more of these things…if you are still reading—more power to ya.

81. I like to fish.

82. I don’t know how to fly-fish.

83. We have a wall mural in my house that I painted that when completely finished will be a subtle mockery of everyone who has the cheesy sayings in vinyl on their walls. Mine will have vinyl sayings too…but it will have quotes like “Be excellent to each other.” –Bill S Preston, Esquire. I’m looking forward to the completed wall.

84. I don’t think Doug wanted me to let everyone know about #83. I think part of the fun was going to be seeing everyone read the quotes and weeding out kindred spirits by those who ‘got’ the humor, and those who just see a nice quote. :)

85. I hope you realize that this post might put me off posting for awhile again. My ideas are already sporadic on blog topics…this one is throwing me right off the edge.

86. I personally realize that this post will probably put anyone reading my blog off my blog indefinitely. Sorry about that.

87. One of my favorite sayings is the Murphy’s Law—“All things being equal, a fat person requires more soap than a thin person.” Unfortunately I think about that saying almost every time I take a shower. Annoying really. But I still like the quote.

88. Favorite actors of mine(please see previous blog for lovely photos of these guys)…for their acting ability and/or handsome good looks: Cary Grant, Josh Duhamel, Colin Firth and Ryan Reynolds.

89. Favorite actress of Doug’s..I think more for the handsome good looks although she is a good actress too: Halle Berry

90. I don’t have a favorite restaurant. I don’t like having to pick a place to go eat, because I honestly don’t care. I wish I cared. I like to eat. I like the Market Street Grills, Ruth’s Chris, etc., but I also am just as happy at IHOP or Kneaders. Guess I’m an easy date.

91. My oldest daughter is going away to college in the fall. I’m going to miss her.

92. I am not looking forward to my kids getting married and having kids. It will make me a grandmother. Once you get that title, you can no longer pretend to be young. No matter your actual age. Once you have ‘grandma’ tacked next to your name, you have a whole different persona..if not to yourself, to everyone else.

93. I don’t like minivans.

94. I am a breast cancer survivor..but it is hard for me to think of it that way. It feels like I didn’t go through enough compared to all of the other women that needed chemo, etc. to fight it. All I had was a mastectomy and reconstruction. I’m not complaining..I just think other women fought more valiantly. I was very, very blessed to have found it early enough to not have to go through more than I did.

95. Almost there….do these ones count? I’m counting them. Shows everyone how I like to cut corners. :)

96. My first car was an ’84 Ford Escort hatchback. I loved that car. It was an oxidized blue and it got me to Dixie and back umpteen times. My brother totaled it. Luckily he was unhurt, but my poor car went to junkyard heaven.

97. My first job outside of working for my dad, was as a waitress at a small diner in Bountiful. I didn’t last long. I hated that job.

98. I wish I spoke better Portuguese. I think I might take lessons sometime and finally try to get those verbs down pat.

99. I love DisneyWorld. I went there on my honeymoon and then we took the family there on our 13th wedding anniversary—because we were married on a Friday the 13th. Which is kind of fun in and of itself. :)

100. I really like writing in this blog, even though I don’t seem to manage to get to it as often as I used to. I will do better. It is a new goal. Okay, it is an old goal, but one I hope to actually achieve one of these days.

DONE. :) You need to go get a nice beverage to reward yourself for sitting through this one. Thanks for reading my 100th blog.

Blogging in 2011

I always seem to surprise myself on how long I go between posts here. Already April and I haven't posted a single blog post. I will say that I have been writing on my blog for the past couple of months in anticipation for my 100th blog post.

This one is number 99.

Number 100 just got finished, but then I realized that one of the number I was counting is just in drafts, so you can only see 98.

So this is a random blog written with the sole purpose of taking up space to get to #100.

Doesn't say much about the quality of this post I suppose. I will have to come up with something interesting to mention so that it doesn't waste your time....

Hmmm...

Instead of posting words, I will post photos of the 4 celebs I mention in my 100th posting that I really like. A little 'eye-candy' will hopefully go a long way toward forgiving my lack of interesting posts. :) These guys are favorites of mine. I don't think they need introduction or explanation. :0)

In age order:

[sigh]

Yep. The old "a picture is worth a thousand words" should work just fine here. Hope you enjoyed this post #99. Post #100 will be up either later today or tomorrow. Just so you know. And if you don't know someone in the above pictures just ask. I'll be surprised, but ask anyway...:)

Firsts

Did you ever wonder about the people who did things first?

I'm not talking Adam and Eve being the first people on earth...although now that you mention it, I might ponder a bit on that later...

I'm talking about weird foods eaten, or inventions tried, or... hmm. I can be a bit more specific. Try this out:

What about the first guy who invented and tried the neti pot. Do you know what the neti pot is? It is a teapot looking device that you put warm water and a saline solution in and you put it up your nose to supposedly clear the sinuses. You do it twice. Once for each nostril. You actually put the spout up one nose hole, and then lean over a sink to let the liquid go from that nostril and drain through and then out the other nostril. There is a bit of an 'ick' factor involved.

Who thought that would be a brilliant idea?

I have neighbors who swear by the neti pot. "Haven't had to use my inhaler for the past month", "Stops me from getting a worse cold"...etc. etc.

Why do I know about the neti pot?

Because I have had a sinus issue for way too long and figured I might as well try it. If I don't have to go get more antibiotics and this clears it up, it will be worth it.

I can't tell if it is helping. I do know that it is providing fascinating entertainment for any child of mine who happens by when I use it. And they usually want to chat about it while I'm neti-ing, which if you know how it works you have to breathe out your mouth so the saline doesn't switch tracks and go down your throat. Makes it difficult for conversation.

Not that I would want to hold a conversation with people (even a 7 year old) while liquid is coming out my nose and I'm holding a teapot to my nostril. Gross.

I'm not good at completely getting rid of the liquid either. I think I'm good to go and then when I least expect it I will lean over to pick something up and a stream of water will come out my nose.

Are you picturing this?

At least one neighbor has had the 'privilege' of being present for this lovely occurrence. I'm not really planning on them visiting again anytime soon.

So why would someone invent this? Who?

Knowing the Internet, you could probably go to youtube and have a lovely demonstration of the right way to use a neti pot.

Which makes me wonder who in the world would think that filming themselves doing that would be a good idea??

I guess it could be worse. What about the person who first ate tripe? Seriously. I know the whole story about how it is a delicacy in Portugal because during some famine it saved lives by people resorting to eating it. But I could never wrap my head around any food made from a body part that was specifically built to not be digested. Eating stomach doesn't make sense to me.

Or what about the person who was first to run with the bulls in Spain?

[Is it just me, or do you think that large quantities of alcohol were probably involved in some of the world's 'firsts'?]

I can picture a bunch of drunken Spaniards leaning on the gate of a pen that is holding mean looking bulls and having them joke and jostle and double-dog dare each other to try to reach in and touch one. Jostling gets too rough, gate opens, and *ding ding ding* the first running of the bulls takes place. Drunk guys trying to get out of the way of angry beasts of burden. No one dying. So they decide "what the heck? let's do this again next year!"

Brilliant. A tradition is born.

Anyway. There you go. My rambling thoughts brought on by sinus issues and neti pots.

Tup

My daughter Olivia has an imaginary friend. His name is Tup. He has been her imaginary friend for years, and the whole family has grown to like him quite a bit.

I have always thought it would be fun to write a story about Tup, so I started one awhile ago. I didn't get very far into the story because I realized that it was very possible that at the end of my story, Tup would no longer be needed and would 'disappear'. I don't like sad endings, but couldn't figure out how to make it anything but a cliched end...

Tup will now probably be the only imaginary friend on the planet whose creator (Olivia) is kept alive forever because of his creator's mother (me).

Every November 23rd (Tup's "birthday") I will probably remind Olivia about her friend Tup and how we used to make "Tup-cakes" to celebrate his happy day. (true story)

Sad how I like her friend so much. Can't decide yet if it is creepy-sad, or just get-a-life sad...

Anyway..

Here is part of the story I wrote about Tup. It isn't long at all, and ends short, but now you can know more about him and maybe hope he doesn't 'disappear' someday too. :)

TUP

In the way back corner of the mind of a child, something sparkled. It grew and took shape. It changed, it laughed, it danced. It came to be.

The life of an imaginary friend is not always a long one. Sometimes the life is fleeting. A life that is there for only a matter of days, until the child whose imagination created it moves on to other objects of fascination. Usually objects that have actual physical substance. Objects that can be held and touched, like a teddy bear or a blanket.

And sometimes the life of an imaginary friend, while still not long in terms of human life, will last for a few short years. An invisible being who is allowed to enjoy the ups and downs and all around chaos that rules in the everyday life of a child.

Occasionally an imaginary friend will be lucky enough to be created in the mind of a child who always believes. Always remembers. Those imaginary friends are around the child for a lifetime, from its creation until both the child and the friend pass together from mortality. Bonded together by love and comfort that no one outside their circle really understands.

One such imaginary friend burst into its version of reality in the mind of a small girl named Olivia. Olivia had a very vivid imagination, for which the new friend was happy, and she quickly decided that her friend was a boy named Tup.

In four-year-old Olivia's mind, Tup is the ideal boyfriend. He brings flowers and always says kind things to her. He is there whenever she needs him, and he doesn't mind when she gets distracted and doesn't think about him for awhile. After all, a four-year-old is constantly growing and moving and changing. It is hard work growing up, and sometimes things that are important to them are put aside for a moment until they remember to slow down a little and not forget those who they love.

Tup had no complaints. He knew that Olivia was special and that he was very lucky indeed to have been created in such a child. He felt honored to be classed as a member of the family, and was equally grateful that her parents and siblings encouraged her imagination--even going so far as to making him a real birthday cake on the date that Olivia declared was his birthday.

Tup sat quietly in the corner of Olivia's room and watched as she colored on the bright paper with crayons. He smiled as he watched her draw a picture of herself, ponytails and pink ribbons and a triangle shaped body. A warm fuzzy feeling grew in his heart as he watched her draw him standing next to her. His eyes in her drawing were two very different sizes. He had color and substance in the drawing instead of the vague impressions of his reality.

Olivia suddenly looked up and turned toward him.

"Tup, what color do you want your shirt?"

"What color would look best?" Tup's eyes sparkled with good humor.

"I think today you would look your very best in blue." Olivia turned back to her crayons and started to reach for the cornflower blue. She paused. "No, I think maybe green." She grabbed the dark green from the box and frowned in concentration as she colored the square shape that was his shirt.

"Green is a good choice, Olivia." Tup walked over to stand beside Olivia.

"Thank you Tup." Olivia smiled, but didn't look up from her paper.

After a few more minutes of coloring, Olivia tilted her head and scrutinized her drawing. Her eyes squinted in concentration and then she finally held the drawing up towards Tup and looked at him questioningly.

"I'm done now. Do you like it?"

Tup leaned over her shoulder and looked at the picture. He tilted his head and pretended to study it deeply, his arms crossed and his finger tapping his chin.

"I do believe it is your best work yet, Olivia." He announced, and felt a warm tingle as he was rewarded by her brilliant smile.

"Thank you, Tup." Olivia jumped up and walked out of her room, fully expecting Tup to follow. "I am going to hang this on the fridge so everyone will see."

"That is a very good idea." Tup watched as Olivia stretched up on her tiptoes to reach the poodle shaped magnet she would need to stick her drawing to the fridge.....

Fly-On-The-Wall

When you go on a trip and are driving across country, past towns you've never heard of or cities that you would usually not consider visiting, do you ever look at the homes and wonder what the lives of the people who live there are like? What they do for a living? What struggles they have? If they like living in the middle of nowhere?


Maybe it's just me.


I'll see people out in their yards and wonder if we would be friends if I knew them. Or I wonder what it would be like to change places with them for just a moment--not the "Freaky Friday" way, but just enough to get an insight on what someone else is going through.

I will drive through Idaho and past small farming communities during the Christmas holiday season and wonder what the people in that little farmhouse that you can see from the freeway will be doing on Christmas morning.


That would be my ideal "fly-on-the-wall" situation...to just be able to observe strangers in their homes with their families. To get insight on their joys and their struggles. To see if they are as crazy as the general populace, or if they are unique.


Of course, I wonder about people as I pass them on the freeway just driving around town too.


I realized today that although I might be driving my husband to the airport at 6 a.m., most people in the cars around me are headed for work. But they probably think that is where my husband and I are going too. They don't know we are airport bound.


Or when I was being driven to the hospital for my cancer surgery I remember watching the cars pass and thinking that no one knew I had breast cancer and was going in for a mastectomy. They have their own lives and probably don't give two thoughts to the people they are driving by.

Have you ever thought about this kind of stuff?

If you had your choice of three people to go and be a 'fly-on-their-wall', who would you choose? Would you choose a celebrity, a mentor, a homeless person? How do you think it would change your perspective on life in general if you could have that moment of complete understanding of someone else's life? Would it change you?

Hmm. Interesting.

I would choose someone who gives all the appearance of having a fabulous life first. Perfectly behaved kids, sweet husband, etc. No one can be that fabulous behind their own doors all the time, can they? I would be hoping to either see her secret for this fabulous life so I could emulate some of it, or I would be hoping to see a bit of a meltdown so that I would know that she is as normal as the rest of us but hides it better.

Next I would choose one of those random farmhouses in Idaho. Mainly to ease my curiosity and imagination. I wouldn't expect any great revelation except to see that they are normal people with a house that happens to be seen easily by I-84 traffic.

And last, hmm. I am not sure. A homeless person would give me more empathy. A celebrity would probably do the same thing, but I could turn around and help a homeless person. I don't think a celebrity would be that interested in 'help' from someone who has an Average Joe lifestyle.

I will have to think on that last one. Maybe your ideas will give me a better idea of who to use that 3rd fly on. So post comments and let me know. Pretty please. :)

Jane Austen Thoughts

I am going to just start typing and see where it takes me. If it doesn't make sense to you don't worry. It isn't making sense to me either. Even in my head. And usually the blog in my head is fantastic. :)

All blog thought started this week when I started thinking about Jane Austen....

As you can tell by the graphic on my blog, I am a Jane Austen fan. (Well, more specifically a Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy Pride & Prejudice fan...but I like all things Austen too..)

Jane Austen has brought women all over the world--from all walks of life, all ages, etc. etc.--together with the shared love of a good story, a brooding hero and a spunky heroine.

I have a friend who is probably the biggest Colin Firth fan around. She and I were just acquaintances until the Sunday she taught a lesson and managed to throw out an obscure Pride & Prejudice quote. I am fairly certain I was the only one in the room who caught the line, and after class I talked with her about it and we have been good friends ever since.

A&E's version of Pride & Prejudice has made it so anyone who has seen it multiple times will immediately know the scene if someone simply says, "On foot?" But anyone who can pull off throwing Austen-speak into a Sunday school lesson...well, that is something special. :)

This friend of mine had a birthday a while ago, and to celebrate she and a bunch of other women in our neighborhood got together to watch the new British version of Emma. It was good. It was a bit disconcerting for me to watch though, because partway through the movie my head started comparing Austen characters to real-life people and I distracted myself.

So here is where my brain wants to work through this really well. It is trying. I hope this comes out coherently...

I've decided that for the most part, a lot of women who read Jane Austen or watch movies based on her novels have chosen favorite characters and wish that their life would imitate her art. At least a little.

Most women who are Austen fans wish their significant other had a little bit of Darcy's presence. Maybe a little bit of Bingley's charm. Perhaps some of Mr. Knightly's common sense. And we really, really hope that he has no resemblance whatsoever to Mr. Collins. :)

Most women who are Austen fans probably wish they were a little more like Elizabeth (witty, bold, and thought to be one of the prettiest girls in the county), and perhaps a little less like Emma (although pretty, she tends to be more like the rest of us--speaking before thinking, accidentally hurting other's feelings, being a little bit flighty and self-centered)

I guess that is what a good writer hopes to accomplish. Having the reader be able to put themselves into the heroine/hero part without thinking about it. Being able to relate to some, if not all of the story and characters.

I know I have a 'Mrs. Bennett' in my acquaintance.

I know women who have characteristics of Jane Bennett. Elizabeth is a bit more of an enigma, but some of her traits can be seen in some of my friends.

I DO know men like Mr. Collins. Happily, my husband isn't one of them.

My mom doesn't like Jane Austen books. She knows they are British and reads them as haughty. I think she would like the humor if she would 86 the accent. :)

Anyway. That's my rambling on Jane and her characters for today. I hope that if I ponder on this any longer, that I will pinpoint some of the character qualities that I wish I had personally and try to work on them.

Or maybe I will just start speaking in a bad British accent...that might be easier.

Just a conversation to share :)

Here is how the mind works in the children of this family...follow along with their conversation they had with me while driving home from some random activity this past summer:

Kady(age 17): "Mom, I have no clothes. They are all too small or not good for summer. We need to go shopping."

Victoria (age 12): "Yeah. What she said."

Kady: "See? We all need clothes. You can take Victoria and me shopping. Otherwise we will have no clothes at all and will have to go to school naked."

Victoria: "Yeah."

JD (age 10--popping off from the backseat of the car): "If they had 'Naked Day' at school, I don't think I would like it very much."

Kady: "JD!"

Victoria: "There are definitely some kids who wouldn't look good naked."

JD: "I was thinking that it would be bad to see the naked teachers."

Me (age old): "Maybe 'Naked Day' would actually be a good thing to help with obesity in children. We'd hear them say "Dang, 'Naked Day' is coming up in just a couple of months..I'd better go work out and stop hitting the vending machines instead of eating lunch."


Husband: "Maybe we should stop talking about 'Naked Day'."


Party pooper. ;)

Voting Day

Today is Election Day. I have already done my civic duty and voted this morning. Some Republican, some Democrat.

One thing always sticks out for me when I vote... I never study the judges enough to have a clue as to whether I think they should stay in or be voted out. I tell myself every year when I leave the polling booth that "next time you will read those over better and go in with an idea of who shouldn't be there anymore."

I don't ever, ever listen to myself.

All I remember is that most of them seemed to have pretty high ratings.

And I feel a bit silly hearing the beep of the voting station as I just hurry through and click 'yes' on all of the judges. It seems to shout out that I am not very informed and am just having a really good time pushing the screen button.

Another thing I re-learn at election time is that I wish I had a better head for politics. I have a few convictions. I am not good at voicing political opinions I have. I wonder if I practice that if I would get better, or if I would still know that somewhere back in my brain I have a fantastic rebuttal to something someone has just said...but I can't for the life of me remember exactly what that rebuttal would be. I have a tendency to mix metaphors and juxtapose stories so that instead of two really good points, I make one half-baked crazy sauce point.

I'd be really good at making points for the opposing team. Whichever team that may be at the moment.

I would love to be able to hold up my end of a political conversation. I would love to sound as informed as Glenn Beck--love him or hate him, the man knows his stuff and he loves his country.

Plus he disses Joy Behar which is fun to hear. [She is a bitter woman. How can she stand to be that unhappy all the time?]

Doug would like to be involved in politics. He would be fantastic at anything like that. When he mentions it, I try so very hard to keep it all about him and not swing it my direction..i.e. "I can't be a _____'s wife. People will ask me questions. I will have to have my brain working faster than my tongue--which has never happened in my entire life. I will have to look composed and "with it"...crap."

I guess I should just start my 2011 resolutions now...1. Study the issues and get an opinion set enough that you can vocalize it in a social situation, but not be so stuck on it that you can't understand both sides. (I didn't say agree with both sides--just understand them).

It is a darn good thing people are told to avoid talking religion and politics in social situations. Maybe I will be okay...

I also need to start listening to myself. If I don't, I might miss out on hearing myself say something really awesome in 2011. That would be sad.

Go vote.

God Bless America. :)

Hints and Clues...and NaNoWriMo

Here are some hints and clues I have learned or observed recently that might make your life easier to navigate. I wish I had paid more attention to the learned part before the learning had to take place. (Kind of a 'learn from my mistakes' thing):

1. If you start out a conversation with your husband "I did something today, but if it makes you mad I can fix it.", you probably realized at some point during the doing of the thing that your husband might not approve. Like getting sucked into a door-to-door salesman's pitch for the first time in years and then, yes, after having the conversation with your husband having to go and cancel agreements before the '3-day rule' expires. Basically, if you know you will probably have this conversation, tell the salesman "No". Saves time, hassle, and marital bliss.

2. You can wish and hope and pray, but in the end if you don't eat more healthy and be more active there will come a day when "sucking it in" is no longer an option. And with that, holding your breath while standing on a scale at the doctor's office will NOT make you lighter.

3. When keeping your appointments on a calendar, you must LOOK at the calendar to make sure you don't miss anything. Just writing it down does not automatically make you remember what you have going on...which is why you wrote it down in the first place. I could give too many examples of this, so instead I will just move on...

4. Things to not forget in order to feel like you are a decent parent: 1. Tooth Fairy, 2. Early-out days at school, 3. Tooth Fairy. (seems like such a small thing, but seriously...if you have ever been awakened by the sad face of a kid who thinks the tooth fairy forgot them...I'm just saying, don't forget that one. Trust me...)

5. Blogging only works if you publish what you write. I have about a dozen unfinished blogs all waiting patiently for me to either finish or delete. Since it has been since April that I have posted, I need to work harder on this one.

6. If you facebook, don't post profile photos that make you look unnaturally thinner than you look in real life. (key word: unnaturally) I have some fb friends who have done that and it is borderline creepy looking. If you are heavier, rejoice in the extra you. ;) That said, I haven't changed my profile photo for a long time because I don't have any "good" pictures of me. Which translated means "makes me look thinner". Guess I will have to actually lose weight to get that kind of photo. Dang it.

I really hope that is enough insight to give for now. I'm starting to depress myself. :)

On a side note, I've decided to join the NaNoWriMo this month. Which means I am going to start today from scratch and write for 30 days through this month of November to complete a 50,000 word novel. It won't be good. The point is to just write. No editing, etc. This is a "get 'er done" type challenge. If it ends up decent, December will be my go back and edit month. We'll see how it goes.

It might be that I'll come back and add a #7...Don't try to write 50,000 words when kids won't even let you use the bathroom without suddenly needing something and pounding on the door. Guess I might be having some late night write fests.

I'll let you know how it goes. :)

In Case You Missed My Rambling Ways :)

It has been 5 months since I have added to my blog. Yes, FIVE months...it flew by for me, and all the spam comments I just 86'd only emphasized the fact that I really should check my blog more often.

I probably should write more frequently if for no other reason than to take some of the pressure off for writing something brilliant. I mean, if I haven't written for five months surely something fabulous has happened or some extraordinary mental genius has come to my attention to write about here.

Surely.

Okay, I was dreaming too.

Really the only great insight I have made lately is that I am shocked that a six year old child who has grown up in this household thinks that if he throws himself on the ground screaming and arching his back to emphasize his world collapse as he knows it, will somehow get me to change my answer from "No" to "Yes".

Why do my kids (all of them, really) think that whining will make me want to jump up and do whatever it is that will make them happy.

You would think that after all this time with having me as the mom, they would realize that I am just as thrilled to keep saying 'no' when they are throwing fits as I was the first time I said 'no'. More so, actually. I start getting a kick out of calmly stepping over the thrashing form of child and going about my merry way.

The old "what part of no did you not understand" is probably over used in our house, but seriously. The first time I change the "no" to a "yes" because I don't want to hear the screaming fit anymore will be the end of my reign as 'Queen' here, and I will just become a lowly peasant placed here to cater to the children's every whim.

I soooo don't need that.

I keep waiting for my kids to get old enough that reasoning with them works. To figure out that their actions have consequences. That no means no--and that I rarely say no just for the heck of it.

I think my mom is probably still waiting for me to figure those things out too.

I want to keep this post kind of short just so I make sure I actually post the blog. So to end, here are 5 things I have learned over the past few weeks that have to do with my kids:

1. 5 minutes in the microwave is too long for microwave popcorn. It scorches. And it makes the house smell bad for a solid 24 hours.

2. 6 year old boys and 5 year old girls should not be allowed to use a microwave unsupervised. (See #1) --['allowed' is a tricky word there....if they don't ask permission, they don't hear 'no'. They hear 'NOOO!!', but by then they have had their fun. :) ]

3. A 10 year old boy can hold an entire conversation about video games in a way that seems like I should understand at least a few of the words coming out of his mouth, but ends up with me zoning out--like when Grandma used to tell her meter-maid stories for the 50th time--instead of me trying to keep up with the whozits and the whatzits of the gaming world.

4. I have moody daughters. I was hoping to get a pass on that, since I am not the moody type. I guess with 5 girls, my odds were stacked against me anyway.

5. I must really love my son to be able to sit though an "opera" about the rock cycle that was completely written by four classes of 4th graders, and still act thrilled to be there. He did a marvelous job. It was a solid hour of "Holy crap, how did Doug get so lucky to be out of town this week on business?" And honestly the 5 minutes my kid was onstage made it worth it--he was "Joker Rock" and had to do a staged fall that ended up being him really tripping over his monkey slippers and hitting his goggled face into the stage. Looked like it hurt, but he was sure it was a sign that he is a really good actor to make the fall more real. I could have done without the other 55 minutes, but what the heck. I now know more about the rock cycle than I ever wanted to know.

(My parents can thank me later for 'forgetting' to mention the opera to them, so they didn't have to sit through it too. :) )

I will start writing more regularly again. I guess that can be good or bad depending on your take on my blog I suppose.

If nothing else, I have not forgotten how to ramble. So I have that going for me.

Catching Up on Rambling x 10

I can't believe the entire month of October passed without me posting even a tiny blog entry.

Well, actually I guess I do believe a whole month can pass without me posting...truth is that I can't believe the entire month (and most of November) has past. Period.

This time of year seems to pick up serious speed. I wonder if I would get Christmas shopping done early if the Oct.-Dec. time period would slow down a bit.

Since I don't see me actually getting Christmas shopping done before December 24th, I probably will never know the answer to that question. Oh, well.

My reconstruction surgery is scheduled for December 17th...so I guess I'd better start figuring Christmas out a little sooner rather than later. I don't think my kids will be that thrilled if I tell them my new boobs are their Christmas present this year too. I can see how well that conversation would go over... ;)

Here are some catch up topics I wanted to touch on that have gone through my head at least twice these past couple of months:

First, I want it on record that I personally think the health care issue thing about not getting mammograms until age 50 is retarded. If I had waited that long I would be looking into mastectomy, chemo, the works. There has to be a happy medium for the higher-ups. Or they need to put a woman on their panel. Either way is good. Enough said.

Second, Montana is a lovely State. We went there last weekend for my nephew's non-farewell and non-open house. He entered the MTC this past Wednesday and will be going to Costa Rica. He is excited. Great kid.

I thought that I would freeze in Montana in November, but actually Utah right now is colder than Montana.

Third, I could go my whole life and not have to spend an aimless hour and a half driving around Idaho Falls again. Been there, done that. On the way home from Montana we stopped at the Walmart in I.F. and bought a fuse for the converter thingy (yes, that is the technical term) to the power do-hickey (not the technical term, but it should be) so that the kids could continue watching movies on the way home from our trip and the parents could maintain some semblance of normalcy. Then we found out that Wendy's closes early in IF. And we drove around looking for another fast food place. Seriously took waaayy longer than it should have. And it put is home at 2 a.m. instead of midnight like we had planned.

Fourth, have you ever looked back at what you had or didn't have your kids involved in and wondered where you went off track? I remember when I first got married and though about having kids, I pictured my daughters all taking dance and playing soccer (I took dance from the time I was 3 until I was 16...and I've played--and still play--soccer forever), and my sons would be involved with baseball and soccer (husband is the baseball guy, and again me with the soccer). I also thought my kids would love horses just because I do--having owned horses and having been able to ride since I was 3, and because my husband also had a horse growing up).

I know those aren't huge problem type issues, but I really pictured those things being part of our lives. Soccer is, so I guess you can see where my real priorities have been. But my kids have never taken a dance lesson, my older son played 2 years of baseball and that is all, my youngest hasn't ever played; my oldest daughter is actually afraid of horses--which is actually what shocked me into this direction of thought. Some of my most fun times were with horses. My first date with my husband was me taking him riding through Snow Canyon when we were both at Dixie College. I feel like I've cheated them out of something. I'm sure they don't mind at this point, but when I was first married I would never have thought that 18 years later I wouldn't have dancing baseball playing kids.

I'll get over it eventually. It is just such a weird thing to me.

Fifth, have you noticed that you look better in some mirrors than others? Maybe it is just me--okay, most definitely it is just me, but still...--It might be the lighting, it might be the actual mirror itself, but some mirrors I look at myself and think "Huh. Not too shabby today", others I have an almost uncontrollable urge to give myself the wink and the gun, and then the evil mirrors that make me look like a 41 year-old housewife (oh, wait...that's what I am....dang). I was thinking that if I could figure out what makes the wink and the gun mirror work the way it does, and then make that work the same way in a camera--I'd be set for life. Because honestly, even if I pass a wink and gun mirror and then get my picture taken...photo ends up looking like I got ready in front of evil mirror. Why can't someone invent a camera that REMOVES 10 pounds instead of adding it?

Sixth, here is another thing I have always found myself doing. I want to decorate my house more. I want nice paintings, etc. So I go look at home decor places or boutiques and look around. And I see a lot of things that I could totally do equally well if not better (in my humble opinion), so I don't buy any of the paintings, etc. But the key here is that I don't actually go home and make them myself. So just because I CAN do something better, doesn't usually (ever) mean that I will actually DO the thing. So my house isn't decorated like I'd hope because I'm too vain to buy something I think I can do better, and yet also too lazy to just get off my backside and do it. Which is an annoying trait to realize I have. And it is even more annoying to know the odds of my getting over the trait is slim to none.

Seventh, I decided I'm already not looking forward to January and New Year's Resolutions. Just so you know.

Eighth, I think that people who dread being called to serve in the church nursery either haven't actually been in the nursery before, or they are not seeing the great potential that is there. I mean seriously. How bad can a calling be when you have the parents take care of any diaper issues, you take kids to their parents if they are being overly upset that day--both of which means that you really only get to have the good part of playing with little kids--happy and dry and non-stinky--and you get to sing songs, play with toys, color, and--hello--eat snacks. C'mon. Seriously. It is a primo church calling.

I am not in nursery right at the moment. I am in YW. Not a bad gig either, but 16 and 17 year old girls tend to frown on their adult leaders breaking out into 'Once There Was a Snowman'. I have found they are fine with being offered mini-marshmallows or goldfish crackers though. :)

Ninth, what is hotter? A man in a tux, a man in a military/police/firefighter uniform, or a man giving out free chocolate. Not just any chocolate...but your very favorite kind? Just wondering.

Tenth, there are a few videos/movie lines etc. that can make me laugh just thinking about those particular scenes. Some like in the movie 'Night Shift'--that I can't actually see again since I've given up on 'R' rated movies, but it is still one of my favorite comedies of all time--when Michael Keaton's character yells "I'll save you Chuck!" and belly flops off the balcony. (You had to be there). I like things that make me laugh. I've shared these two things before, but I figure if you've read through this far you deserve a little humor too. The first is a link to one of my all-time favorite Barats & Bereta clips from YouTube and the second is the German Coastguard thing that cracks me up when I remember the punch line. So enjoy.

And thanks for putting up with 10 rambling topics. :)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn1-M5Ze0p8